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Finding Mr. Right: Why We Should Believe That Forever Do Exist And How The Right Person Is Determined

“We fall in love by chance, we stay in love by choice.” – Anonymous

We all love the idea of falling in love. Moreover, we always wanted to love and be loved by someone we consider our significant other. But, how can we determine if he/she’s the right one? Could it be by how we wanted them to be? Or, how we’d like to end up with what we presumed them to be?

Finding the right person isn’t as easy as pie. We would go and experience a lot of heartbreaks first before reaching the finish line.

However, how are you sure you’d reach the finish line with the right person? Could that be easily determined? Would it be a good decision? Well, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to waste another time trying to work things out with the wrong person (again), would you? How could that be even possible? What if you have just mistaken him to be the right person when he actually wasn’t?

We all have this so-called, “stereotyping mindset” wherein we categorize a person by how they should act or what they should possess before engaging in a more upgraded level with us i.e matrimony. Some women (and men in particular) like to settle down with men (or women) who have looks, money, car, etc., that are obviously ephemeral; something some women (and men) think “ARE” the ones worth considering for.

Are they really the ‘right one’ men and/or women should settle down with? Was that true love, even?

Obviously, it isn’t.

It’s not – NEVER – about the looks and the money, ladies and gentlemen. Love is not about necessity. It’s about how you love the feeling of every 37, 843, 200 heartbeats of your annual existence; responding to your hypothalamus that determines. It’s about the feelings that are hardly explainable from within that explains, and the butterflies that rave in your stomach that proves. When you love a person, you just LOVE them. No ‘BUT-s’, no questions, no explanations, no reasons, no ‘because-s’, no anything – You just love them; because you feel them… and you’re happy with them. It’s not just about the compatibility you have with your significant other that validates, but the chemistry in your comfortableness with each other as well.

Externalizing the quote, “…that’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt…” (John Green. The Fault In Our Stars) otherwise, LOVE is the feeling that IS ALREADY FELT because it CEASES DEMAND (when you’re in love). You just have to assess the feelings, yourself. The more you find it hard to explain why you keep coming back to the same person over and over again is the time you realize how unexplainable and hard it is to find the right reasons to explain them. Love, per se, is subjective; not objective. It’s like a theory – conceptualized, yet ceases evidence.

How do we determine Mr. Right?

Personally speaking, finding Mr. Right is like finding an old coin you used to pay the ice cream man for a cone of ice cream and retrieving it back from the change of that dress you bought on a department store – you’ve already found them, but you weren’t able to see or notice them. Perhaps, you’ve seen them on the streets, but you were so eager to tie up your shoes because its lace got untied that a bus already passed by and blocked his way.

Fascinating, isn’t it?

Love is a wonderful feeling when you’re already at the right person’s arms. It happens when God’s plans and fate collide to have your ways cruised and have your paths crossed. It’s the thing we call, “SERENDIPITY” – You don’t plan them. It just happens. We love a person at the most unexpected way we’d anticipate them. We meet them at the most unexpected times. We disclose the event with what we call, ”DESTINY,” and that’s when the demand of love is felt.

How are we sure our significant other today is already the right one?

Simple.

You have to feel and assess your own feelings. You will know it’s the right person when you don’t just possess true love towards them, but contentment and comfortableness, as well. It’s when you can easily tell yourself, “Ah! He/She’s the one I want to be with someday” without hesitations and doubts of what could happen in the next years. It’s the feeling when you already fear nothing while embracing acceptance in any form of informality, and the feeling when you can clearly tell yourself that he/she’s the one not because they fulfill your needs, they have reached your standards, or they have the qualities you wished for in a partner, but because you love them, you’re comfortable with them, and you’re happy with them regardless of what both of you have encountered and surpassed in your previous years. Easier said than done, but if you assess yourself and your feelings, you’d get the picture of the emotion.

To be honest, I, still, am not in any stage of nearness towards my right man. I know someday we’d cross paths in the fiction I call my fairytale. Perhaps I have met him before he was too stubborn to take right. Whoever that person is, I’m sure I’d be lucky enough to experience serendipity one more time – this time, with the right person already. I’d be glad to tell the whole world how much of a fan I am of “destiny” for having us find each other one day. That would probably be the best ending I could offer the last chapters of my book. After all, serendipity doesn’t just happen in fairy tales, but in autobiographies as well.

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Carpe Diem: Why We Should Seize The Day And Make The Most Out Of It

  “We Do Not Remember Days, We Remember Moments.”  – Cesare Pavese

It is inevitable that time passes by. Whatever we do, or however we consume our 86, 400 seconds in the existing 24 hours of our day-to-day living, we cannot procrastinate time in connection to the quote, “Time is gold.” We cannot stop time, as it is you who have to adjust. Apparently, it is neither the seconds nor the hours that you must count. It’s the moments – the moments that make your 24 hours – your time – worth remembering.

lollllYou must be wondering how it is related to the photograph. Well, as to the photograph per se, having one means capturing the moment – capturing that mere event that could last until forever. After all, “we do not remember days, we remember moments.” It proves the validity of the photograph itself, as photographs symbolize souvenirs of our yesterdays. And what makes it more significant is it serves as a medium to reminisce the memories – the memories that could never be brought back in the event of the span of time.

Internally-wise, if you would seek deeper through the picture, you would notice the presence of the sunset in the background. Watched by these two friends from afar, it symbolizes the vulnerability of the moment, as it is the cessation of time. If you think deeper through it, you will realize it symbolizes the running time, as it serves as the night’s gate. Time is visible through the lapses. It is defined as ‘the call of the day’, in contrary to the sunrise’s literal definition, ‘the start of the day.’

Photographically aside, if we speak of the quote itself, the deeper description of what the quote implies to the readers is the value of the moment. It emphasizes its significance until it becomes a memory. Yes, you can have another 86, 400 seconds in the next day after today, but you can never bring the moments you had yesterday back if you disremember what you should have remembered today.

People who engage, or are satisfied with mediocre complaints suggest, “May bukas pa,” but how are we assured of the possibility and the probability that there is still tomorrow to comply with the undone? How are we sure of the “may-bukas-pa” excuses if we do not know what the future holds? Cesare Pavese only wants to teach us one thing: To enjoy the moment. Come what may! If you can enjoy today, enjoy it now. Seize the day. We never know how time would let us go as we do not hold its predictions and predestined fate. Yes, we do remember the days, but nothing can be compared to the moments, captured.