self love
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Confessions Of A Hopeless Romantic: This Is Why I Don’t Regret Dating So Many Guys In The Past, Because It Taught Me Self-Love

I’m a hopeless romantic.

And being a hopeless romantic, especially in a sea of people playing filthy games called “modern dating,” is a special kind of torture. It’s impossible not to lose your self-love… or so I think.

Hopeless Romantics.

These people are the usually called, “marupok” in Filipino slang, referencing the English word, “breakable.” They easily fall for the people that never had the intention of loving them back because their hearts are full of love, they only want to “give.” They also invest all of themselves even in exchange for nothing just to ‘feel loved’ for a second or minute. And they usually come off as “easy to get” because a little amount from you feels like grand. They won’t, for a minute, second-guess or reconsider their situations, because loving you is just what’s on top of their mind.

Without noticing, this is how they put themselves in danger. And I, myself, couldn’t agree more.

Being a hopeless romantic is being the person who chooses to be naive because they always see the best in people. Quite the reason why they’re always called a “fool,” but these are the people who will choose to fight for you, even if you’re not worth fighting for in the first place.

They are the types of lovers who will choose to look right through you no matter what you’ve been through, or what culture had developed you. They see your heart before anyone else. And they will look right through it despite other people’s judgments.

In a society where people judge first based on the superficial, there are the “hopeless romantics” who dig deep into your heart first before appreciating what’s on the outside. And unless you’re not looking for a commitment or something serious, a hopeless romantic is the one who will make you feel truly loved.

I remember how people always judged me for having dated so many guys in the past because of my hopeless-romanticism. People thought I was too hungry for love, and sometimes, they thought I was just the typical kind of “flirt” who knew her way with boys. 

They never knew what I went through because of that, however. All they’ll ever tell you was how they “didn’t care.”

They never knew the trouble I faced when a new rumor was up. They never knew the heartbreak I overcame alone because I loved and trusted too much again. They never knew the pain I endured when I was already questioning my self-worth; asking why I always ended up like that. And they never knew how hard it was getting up every time I hit rock-bottom for the same old situation, believing it would be different this time around.

Consequently, they will never understand how I only wanted to have a fairy-tale kind of love story. How I wanted this daydream, wishing I’d “real-life” it someday. And they will never understand how hopelessly hopeful I just was to feel and experience that from every guy I meet through serendipity… even on Facebook chat.

Silly me.

I don’t know if there’s anyone who could understand the heart of a hopeless romantic, but they – we – are just the type of people who are, by definition, in love with love. Sometimes, we couldn’t foresee and determine what’s only the “idea” of it and what’s really it. Other times, we disregard both the idea and the reality because we only care about feeling it.

And because our kind is empathetic by nature and sees the beauty in just about everything, this includes the heart of a broken fuckboy who, to everyone’s eyes, only has the intention of toying with a woman.

Our kind knew there’s more to them than just that deep inside, that we don’t realize how we’re falling for a trap.

And when we get hurt, we knew we couldn’t do anything about it. Because in the eyes of people we chose it, but in our hearts, we knew we just felt like flowing with it.

self love

Bruised lips, soft skin, beige dress, and a heart that’s all over you.

In my case, the saddest part of it all was when I got toyed, and I never got to defend myself. I was always afraid of what the universe might cost me if I fight back. I never got to have vengeance because that wasn’t me. And the only thing I could do about it that time was to shut myself out… or vent it out using my passion or a hobby.

Although I did rant some of these on social media, it only made people think I was “guilty.”

I wasn’t there to defend myself from the critics. I didn’t care at first, of course, because I knew better about myself. I even cracked jokes about it, not thinking it would register differently to other people’s minds. And even if I knew myself better, I didn’t know that was my ticket to ruining myself in the long run, and it did affect my reputation entirely.

The aforementioned reputation preceded me until… last year? I’m not sure if until today I still do, but what I knew was that the more I spoke against it, the more I was perceived as “guilty.” 

And the more I ignored about it, the more I gave them opportunities to talk differently about me every day.

I never knew my place. I always appeared angry when I was still ranting on social media. I didn’t have any friends to talk to about this, and people judged me as an “attention-seeking whore.” They’ve never seen the agony I had to go through being in a tough situation over a guy who I never planned to like or date in the first place. Most especially, they’ve never felt the struggle of having no one to talk to about this dilemma, that I thought I only had Facebook to deal with it.

I am beyond thankful for my recent best friend, Kate, who listened to me every single day I had sad thoughts going on. She was the reason I stopped ranting on social media because I finally found someone in her who would actually listen. And she was the reason I was able to learn the essence of privacy because I hadn’t known that when I thought I should always “post” my side in defense to those destructive criticisms. Along with that, she taught me how to trust and muster up my courage because my other best friends were just waiting for me to hit up.

To be honest, no one realized this was what created all those rants. When these experiences and bottled-up feelings created a strong-ass, straightforward woman all along, they thought I changed for the worst, creating a monster out of me. Of course, that’s what they only saw. Even my former best friend of 12 years thought likewise hence the partition.

I don’t regret it though. Maybe it was for the best.

I also never knew this was going to be the reason why guys thought they could easily have me. I never knew one rumor could change everyone’s perspective about me.

The usual cycle goes like this.

I post a picture of me on social media, and a guy would either compliment me or chat with me because of that. I ignore them at first of course, until they make an “effort” to talk to me. Being a hopeless romantic myself who has no one to talk to except a “best friend” who only talked about her love life, those mere gestures were already grand. What can you say, that’s how the hopeless romantic’s heart operates  – always the appreciative ones.

… or maybe I just needed someone to talk to every day.

When I got to know them as days goes by, I feel like I have someone to “brag” about to keep up and ease my feelings of being “left out.” I also feel like, there’s someone who I can finally “talk to” about my thoughts and feelings …anxieties included (as per mentioned, I never had someone to talk to about things unlike today, because even the aforementioned former best friend hated me for posting too much).

And when a guy finally notice how I’m slowly falling for their gestures, they would want to meet up in person to test the compatibility. That’s not the case, most of the time, however. They would want to meet up so they could test the waters and see if the rumors about me were true. Sometimes, they would even want to have sex on the first date.

Guess what? That’s how I knew there wouldn’t be “Date number 2 or 3.” That’s how I knew I was going to be “ghosted.” And that’s how I also knew I was about to get stuck in an “almost relationship.”

And I wasn’t able to realize all of these then until today.

Because those rumors about me reflected otherwise, they knew they had to run away before they can even catch the disease  – my disease (err, feelings). What lesson I learned from all of this is to never give your heart out too easy to not lose yourself in the process. It’s really essential to get to know the person first, and my biggest mistake in all of these was I jumped quickly without testing the waters first.

Absorbing the wrong people’s energy and getting too familiar with them would make you change you to meet them halfway when it’s impossible. And when you change yourself for the wrong person, you slowly lose who you are and what you fight for, for their demands. When you do this, it’s impossible for you to find your way back, unless you go back to how you achieved ‘step one’ of your healing processes. And if you think step one was really hard to attain the moment you decided you wanted to heal, imagine how harder it would be going back at it again and again.

The only problem with me was that… I overlooked it. I hoped it wouldn’t be the same in every guy I dated. That’s why the “numbers” went high, and I gave me the reason why anyone has the right to call me that.

As time goes by, I realized… guys who say they want me just want to test the waters. And if they don’t want you enough to be with you, they’d save themselves the trouble of ever confronting with you.

I’m happy to be the person who doesn’t crave that much love from anyone today because I have learned to really love myself for good during the process.

I don’t understand, and I even feel bad about saying this, but when I lost that aforementioned “best friend,” I felt like the “pressure” of having a boyfriend went along with her. Maybe it was because she hasn’t really listened to what I have to say because her priorities were divided, or maybe it was just because I felt envious of her situation and she wasn’t sensitive enough to realize it, that I thought “being with a guy” was the way to keep up with her. Nevertheless, she was indeed a good friend  – a best friend if I can describe that entire 12 years we’ve been together, side-by-side. Maybe, it really wasn’t just meant to be. And it really had to take me losing her to finally figure out the lesson I had to learn all these years.

I’m glad I finally feel “free” from all that awful baggage I’ve been carrying all my life. Unlike before when I usually dwell on my heartbreak because my situation has been repetitive all these years, I’m glad I finally saw my worth this time. I’ve witnessed this myself when this Leo guy I loved has hurt me, and I neither ranted nor felt bad about it for a long time. Instead, I craved to be a better person than I was before, I yearned to be a stronger woman, and this time, a wiser one at that.

When one of my best friends showed me his picture together with his new girl together, I knew I finally moved on because I literally and sincerely wished him happiness and peace of mind. I knew that’s what he needed, and I genuinely wished him that. My heart feels happy for him, without losing my hopeless romanticism in me because that’s who I am.

All I can say right now is that I’m happy with the lesson, growth, am glad for my soul, and am extremely joyful for my heart. I don’t despise myself for having this kind of personality anymore, because to be honest, I figured, this is what makes me, me. ? And I believe someday I would be loved for this.

Thinking so, I guess this is what you call self-love. ?

music
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I Never Knew What They Said About “Going Back To What I Used To Love” Until I Started Recording Songs Again

It has been three years since I last did this. And after a while — after not being able to even hold a guitar, write music, or even sing a song (due to hiatus) — I knew there was something that died in me. I knew something died to the point where I wasn’t able to do things as passionately as I had when I was still doing this.

music

I felt disinterested and demotivated on almost everything. Hell, I even got depressed for some reason! I didn’t know what happened, all I knew was that… I don’t do things as passionately as I used to before.

Someone once advised me to “go back” to “what made or what used to make me happy.” I thought that was going back to Bicol where my best friends and family are at to help me heal (which is true, of course), but I never knew it was something more.

Back then, I didn’t know what those words exactly meant because I took them literally. It did help me at some point, but there were times when depression keeps kicking in and coming back. I am also fully aware that there may have been times I had been affected at work that I even thought of, and resorted to, resigning from my awesome, high-paying job.

Prior to that, something severe came up that I had to write this song because I seriously had enough of life and love, hurting me over and over. Out of nowhere, I just thought, “Why not do this again?” So, I wrote “Lalayo o Maghihintay” using only my phone, tabbed my guitar when I got home from work and had this produced with my awesome-as-always music producer, JP Lanuza.

“Lalayo o Maghihintay”
Lyrics

Ako yung tipong
Babaeng lapitin ng macho’t gwapo
Ngunit paano?
Sapagkat ang ending di kayo handa’t seryoso

Gaya nung isang araw
Tayo’y naglalambingan minsan may pa-kiss pa
Magka-holding hands din
Pano na ba nga ako ngayong umaasa?

Kung para sayo’y “kaibigan” lang

Laging iniisip
“Ano ba tayo?” Araw-gabi
Ako’y dapat bang magtanong;
Ano o Bakit?

Hindi ko maiwas 
Mahulog sayong ngiti
Anong dapat ba sundin?
Giliw, lalayo o maghihintay?
Ah-ah. Lalayo o maghihintay?

At eto na nga tayo
Kung saan ako’y sobra ng in love sayo
Kinikilig sa texts mo
Pati na rin sa date sa sabado

Diba’t dapat nga may “label” na to?

Laging iniisip
“Ano ba tayo?” Araw-gabi
Ako’y dapat bang magtanong;
Ano o Bakit?

Hindi ko maiwas 
Mahulog sayong ngiti
Anong dapat ba sundin?
Giliw, lalayo o maghihintay?

Hindi naman sa nag-aassume ako
Hindi rin sa nagdedemand ako oh
Gusto ko lang na malaman mo ito;
Na mahal kita kahit na hirap na ako

Laging iniisip
“Ano ba tayo?” Araw-gabi
Ako’y dapat na bang magtanong ano at
Bakit?

Laging iniisip
Kung ayaw mo lang bang magpatali
O sadyang ako’y di mo lang gusto, oh bakit?

Ang nais ko lamang ay ika’y
Maging tapat
Sa’yong pangako’t salita
Giliw, ano nga ba ‘ko sayo?

Di maisip
Kung ika’y talagang umiibig sakin
Di mo ba alam ako’y nasasaktan
Na; Bakit —

Hindi mo ba kayang
Mahulog sa’king ngiti?
Ano bang iyong minimithi?
Giliw, lalayo o maghihintay?
Lalayo o maghihintay?

Ikaw yung tipong
Pinakawalan ang tunay na in love sa iyo”

When I first heard the first note of this composition produced, I was like, “Shit…. shit shit shit!” ? There was this ‘spark’ in my heart I knew I haven’t felt for a very long time. I almost cried when I heard this, and back there I knew something came back from the dead.

Translation:

“I’m the type of girl
Whose good-looking men pursue
But I don’t understand why
Because neither of them was serious enough in the end

Just like a few days ago
When we were sweet and we were kissing
And we were always holding each other’s hands;
What about me now who’s counting on every false hope?

If, for you, this is just mere friendship?

I always think
“What are we?” Day and night
Am I supposed to ask you
What and why?

I can’t help falling for your smile
What should I do?
Baby, should I go or should I stay?

And here we are now
Where I am head-over-heels in love with you
Always giddy-giddy about your text message
Even on our upcoming date this Saturday

Shouldn’t we have a “label” by then?

I always think
“What are we?” Day and night
Am I supposed to ask you
What and why?

I can’t help falling for your smile
What should I do?
Baby, should I go or should I stay?

It’s not that I’m assuming
Neither am I demanding
I just want you to know
That I love you even if it’s hard keeping up

I always think
“What are we?” Day and night
Am I supposed to ask you now
What and why?

I always think if
You just didn’t want to be committed
Or maybe you just really didn’t like me;
Why is that?

I just want you
To be honest and true
With your promises and words
Baby, what am I to you?

I can’t really imagine
If you’re really in love with me
Can you not see how hurt I really am about this?
Why

Can’t you try
Falling for my smile?
What do you really want from me?
Baby, should I go or should I stay?

You’re the type who let go of the person
Who could have been really in love with you.”

Because of my enthusiasm with this song and letting everyone hear this for free, I practiced, self-tutored, created, and made a lyric video for this so anyone who’d like to hear it can conveniently “listen.” On my part, I just thought of using this song to learn a new hobby (or skill) too. I was sort of into video editing and figured I have an installer on my laptop and thought, “Why not give it a try?”

Guess what? It actually kind of works. I actually knew now how to do basic editing in Adobe Premiere CC 2015, and a few more “troubleshooting” because of this idea. ?

Anyway, moving on. ?

JP and I were also able to produce “I Just Love You,” a song from my future Extended Play (EP), “Summer Love: Every Summer Has A Story,” which you can find the song lyrics here. The password is thehobbyistpost96.

This song is about the first guy I ever had an “almost relationship” with; the guy I felt like I lost and wasted my first kiss to. Lol. I was really in love and hurt back then (2012), that I wrote a song about it to let my sad emotions out. After six years, here it is.

Here’s the official 2018 version of my song, “I Just Love You,” recorded, mixed, and mastered on July 29, 2018 by the one and only, JP Lanuza. Originally written on June 7, 2012.

Thank you, JP Lanuza and Bicol X Studio for yet another collabs and for the rushed recording place. ??

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10 Things I Learned That Helped Me Grow As A Person, Because It Was Also What Made Me Happy

We all have different paths on growth. Some people learned their lessons as quickly as they’ve committed their first mistakes, some do after a couple of years.

I was part of the latter.

I learned most of my lessons SLOWLY, and I still keep learning them until today. I don’t know, maybe I’m just a firm believer that perhaps, I can still project my expected result even if I keep making the same decision that went wrong the first time around. I wanted to keep proving myself wrong. I wanted to prove to the universe that I’m capable of making my life “okay” on my own using my same, old routine. I kept doing it so because I hated change so much. I hated going out of my comfort zone, and I hated changing what I already was accustomed to do.

What a stubborn, little ram.

I don’t know what was wrong with me back then. I felt like I wasn’t learning all my lessons. Just like this incident one year ago with a fuckboy who screwed me over severely, I was only able to learn self-love and self-respect after six years. It took me a really hard lesson to figure that out, and if only I wasn’t so stubborn all those years, I could have been saved an ounce of trouble back then.

Well, everything happens for a reason, though.

Despite all those hard lessons and slow recovery, I was able to see, feel, and witness growth without realizing it. Along with it, I realized what the truest essentials of being happy are.

So, here are the top 10 things you do when you grow because trust me, it constitutes happiness:

 

1. You avoid negativity on purpose

When you’re growing up, you avoid too much drama already. You don’t engage in petty fights, you don’t involve yourself over people you know aren’t essential to your growth, and you try to detach yourself from toxicity as much as possible.

I’ve learned this when I stopped ranting and posting on Facebook. I used to rant petty things on social media when my ego was either stepped on, my heart got broken, I found something funny, or when I was trying to diss someone who has wronged me.

I’ve learned that silence is the best revenge because when you show people you’re neither affected nor aggravated, you find peace of mind.

2. You want to keep learning

You realize you don’t want to depend on a single skill. You realize learning how to do things on your own without depending on anyone works far better. And you realize sticking to your comfort zone and not going out of the box will make you feel restless.

You will start to hate stagnancy. Because you want to keep moving, and you want to keep moving to improve yourself.

I am the type of person who loves learning a new skill, and I’ve had this mindset about “learning” things my own instead of depending on anyone. I hate it when work doesn’t get done because of people’s work ethics. This is the main reason why I’m efficient working alone than with somebody.

Because of this attitude, I also learned how “learning” is essential for your growth. Because when you have no one to depend on, and when you get left out eventually, you have your own.

And when you know a lot of things yourself, you avoid stagnancy. You avoid complaining about what to do next because, for you, it already has been done.

3. You’re always honest about yourself and how you feel

You no longer try to impress other people to like you. You care less about what others think about you, and what their opinions about your life are.

You know that being honest with yourself and how you feel is the best way to get to know you better, and to get to know the things that would actually work for you either.

4. You acknowledge your mistakes

You acknowledge every inch of mistake you’ve done in the past. And you learn from them.

You know that knowing all of these will help you better yourself. That, acknowledging all of your mistakes will help you become a better person. You’re also mature enough to understand that sometimes you can be the toxic person, and this is one in many ways a way to improve yourself while learning.

5. You accept your flaws and your shortcomings

So what if your teeth are not perfect? So what if you have stretch marks, unlike those young adults who have perfect waists? And so what if you’ve had so many guys fooled you because they thought you weren’t “good” enough?

When you learn to accept your flaws and your shortcomings, you learn to love yourself for who you are. You start shying away all of your insecurities because you know you can leverage them. And you stop hating yourself for what you think you lack.

Remember, a person’s strength may be your weakness, but you also have a strength that makes them their weaknesses. You just have to leverage these weaknesses to become stronger… and unique.

6. You leverage your weaknesses to become stronger

As mentioned, this may sound like a cliche, but this is also one ticket to growth.

When I realized that there are things that I cannot change about myself, I knew I can always use them as an inspiration to become better for myself instead. Just like this personal example for myself. I didn’t know how to cook back then, and I’ve always envied people who are good at it. Some started a business out of it, and some were LOVED because of it.

Instead of doing the same thing immature people do like backstabbing their success or sabotaging things they couldn’t have, there I was learning how to cook step-by-step. Guess what? People loved my very own Spicy White Tuna Pasta. That’s the very first time I learned how to cook on my own. It’s just a recipe I improvised from a recipe I found on the internet. You can read more about that here.

Another instance was when I knew I have PCOS (meaning there’s a huge possibility of me not having a baby), and my Saturn is in Pisces on the 7th house (meaning I would have a lot of hardships in long-term relationships and partnerships – which I have). I knew there could be a possibility of me not ever finding my true love in this lifetime, but here I am, writing all my crazy experiences in love and in life at an early age of 22, trying to make sure not a single mistake I’ve ever made was wasted. If I get to “inspire” people of my stories, they’d know what to do or avoid for themselves the next time around.

Honestly, it’s all about the mindset, the maturity, and well, “growth.” Although this thing sometimes causes me anxiety and depression, I still know how to make use of it the right way.

7. You learn to be happy alone

You find peace eating alone in restaurants or food chains that involve people staring at you with judging eyes. You no longer care about people thinking you’re lonely, or that you need somebody.

You find peace in your independence, and for you, it’s the happiest thing ever. Not because you don’t care about being judged anymore, but because you learn to not depend on anyone but yourself.

8. You keep humility intact

You no longer brag about your achievements on social media. You no longer try to compete with anyone who tries to rain on your parade. And you love yourself enough to celebrate even your worst enemies’ or the-people-that-hurt-you’s success.

You’re always humble about what you get and achieve in life. And instead of celebrating it for your “job well done,” you celebrate it by thanking the people who were a part of it.

9. You smile always

When you’re always smiling, you show everyone the strong person you are despite the struggles. When you’re always smiling, you make everyone, even people you meet on the street’s, days. When you always smile, you embrace positivity with big arms, and even if life keeps telling you to suffer otherwise, you always know how to pick yourself up by just smiling it all off.

Learning the art of emotional intelligence (EQ) is really a hard skill. It was something I had a hard time learning before. When you do so eventually, you’ll figure it has a lot of good impact on your life. Plus, it influences other people’s moods. You’ll somehow light people’s days just by showing a good mood.

10. You love people, even at their worst

When you love people at their worst, you understand their situation even when they hurt you. Sure, you’ll get mad at them for treating you so poorly along the way, but you’ll realize how it makes a difference if you just love and understand them on their situation.

Not all people have the capacity to be mature. I’m not saying I’m all mature enough – I still have my fair share of immaturity, but when you start to grow as a person, you heal. You take care of yourself more. And you’ll learn what’s essential to be happy.

God and the universe
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This Is How God And The Universe Taught Me Another Lesson, Because It Involved You Hurting Me

I never knew I would be capable of getting over someone faster than I was expecting all thanks to him. This was, in fact, another first.

He was a Leo. I was an Aries. The stars thought this was a good match, but all things had exceptions, and I think that’s where we both fell out.

We never dated. Because he chose to fool around… especially with me.

What we had was something I will never be proud of. We didn’t even meet right the way two people should meet on their first day of the meeting. We didn’t even establish what we were except for what setup we engaged in beforehand. I just loved him severely along the way, even if I knew I wasn’t meant to in the first place.

It started a year ago when I saw him at this party we’re all organizing in April. I was the new kid there, knowing no one but the host. I was sitting there, feeling out of place. Thank God there was this medical school intern guy and this thick, brown girl who saved me from boredom. It was a relief.

He was there. And I remember him wearing a black, long-sleeved shirt, denim pants, and white shoes; carrying a DJ controller on his right hand, and his left arm around a pretty, tall girl I can’t recall. I noticed him because he stood out from the rest. He looked handsome with a fair skin that glowed at night, kind of dashing, had the ‘swag’ factor in his charm and was speaking in good, modulated tone to that girl he was ‘talking’ to.

I didn’t bother at first. I just thought he looked good that night, and that I never have to see or even talk to him again…

…until that night I was invited to a birthday-slash-victory party with all the people who participated, hosted, and even organized to have a few shots, and was asked to sit beside him in front of the beers and homemade cocktails I told everyone I’m not drinking.

I don’t know what the main reason why he did this to me. We were just in the middle of being acquaintances and friends back then. 

I can still recall how we used to just talk every 2-3 months to know “what’s up” for a year. We only commented on each other’s posts and supported each other’s rants when we’re trying to be comical or dramatic. We would also always reminisce about the day we met at that party where he used to play EDM music for, in which I joked he ‘snubbed.’ And we’ve only seen each other again twice at Starbucks, one in which I photobombed in a picture he took with his friend in late Autumn.

I always knew I wasn’t his type. I knew he wouldn’t even second-guess about dealing with someone like me. I was completely okay with that. But he did make it happen with a simple, “I miss you” with a kiss emoji in late November.

“I miss you.”

“I miss you.”

I kept repeating that on my head before responding, “I miss you, too.” I mean, what’s there to miss? We don’t even hang out.

I went along with his games. I thought he was only being too, extra friendly because that’s how I observed him dealing with his “girl” friends online. It was only during early December when he did the same to me and at first, I didn’t mind.

I never saw this coming because of the mindset, “I’m not his type.” It was firmly stuck intact in my head all these times. All along, even though he was being too extra friendly, his ‘friendliness’ never did stand a chance on me. He started being sweet on comments, telling me to take care of myself and be safe until late December. It was fine then, but I’ve always thought… “Why with the emoticon, kiss?”

I just don’t understand why he had to change his mind. And why of all women more than willing to participate in his games more than I was, he chose me?

To be completely honest, though, I already saw the get-go coming. I just didn’t know it was going to be him… and that, he’d hurt me like that, either.

It was also in late December when, for the first time again in forever, my squad of five friends in college came to hangout complete two years after. We pigged out, got drunk, got drunk again, and went sober. Due to the drunkenness that made us both sober and wasted, we checked-in on an old, local, yet affordable lodge to stay in for the night.

That was also the night he chatted with me to talk. I was too busy hanging out with my friends to even reply to him with sensibility, that I left him unseen with my mobile data connection turned off.

I never really cared at first.

My friends and I arrived at around three in the morning with our wasted and sleepy faces on. We booked a dusty, old room with two beds on both sides, one on which a wall was painted yellow with animal characters on it… until I noticed something absurd.

The painting was a huge picture of a ram and a lion, sitting across the rocks and the lake.

It covered the entire walls of the room we booked, and I kept staring at it, questioning why the ram was with the lion instead of a bull. I’ve always had a crush on this Taurus guy back in Manila, and since his zodiac resembles like that of a bull and mine in ram, I found it a menace to see my animal sign with something else.

As per usual, however, I ignored it. I went on storytelling my craziest experiences with one of my best friends and slept through it afterward. But even before heading to bed, I kept wondering why there were a ram and a lion on that painting, not knowing it was the universe already speaking to me. At that time I didn’t know if it was a good sign or a warning. Perhaps, my psychic senses got drunk either and went to sleep with me.

It could have changed my life back then only if I was able to realize.

Fast forward to two to three days after, he randomly hit me up again and we went conversing about the most absurd stuff! I can’t believe we connected so deeply. I knew it was the first time I felt that.

We were talking about almost everything from the existence of mankind to the existence of aliens, politics, government, even memes. We were talking in a language that only both of us understood, that even if we spoke through GIFs and emojis, we’d still get to understand each other.

That was also the time when I knew he was born in late July… making him a Leo. 

And then it hit me. Something must be up!

I refuse (and am embarrassed) to even admit this, but I’ve always thought he was my soulmate. Maybe he wasn’t my “soul-soul” mate, but he was like someone I felt like I’ve known in my past life.

I never connected with anyone so deep like that ever since. I thought he was the one for what I felt (or so says my inner hopeless-romantic heart).

I never knew that was only… “that.” And I never knew it was for a reason.

We were almost talking about everything every day after establishing some “ground rules.” We even planned about traveling from out of town for three days and two nights and all that. However, despite all our deep connections, plans, and bullshit, I knew God, right there, interfered. I am a hundred percent sure He made a way for us to separate, and He made that happen first through DISTANCE… and then through COINCIDENCE.

I never planned on applying for another job (amidst the job I was already hired at but hasn’t started yet) here in my city. It was supposedly a job interview I’m scheduled to attend on another company, but since my best friend ditched me the last minute and it was too far away, I ended up ditching that interview either and went on to apply at this certain company where I got hired the same day.

After the onboard orientation, the job I really intended to work for has called me about my ‘start date’ moved from June 2018 to January 22.

Quick back story: I got hired at this company around September 2017. Since it wasn’t operational yet, I was asked to wait for a call for the start date. This was the reason why I applied for other jobs, and then this job I got hired on the spot.

At first, I was torn. I didn’t even know if I should pursue this seasonal job I’m only going to work for a month. But something encouraged me to still go because of a crush I met during the orientation (which is a different story). I also thought, “Why not attend this job first and when the real job finally calls for onboard (the latter company knows about this ‘real job’), I’d just go with it?”

I did as I thought. I never knew something should happen then, hence the extension of my stay in that city.

January 2018 was actually the year when the Mayon volcano was erupting for a week. The company (seasonal job) has decided to move out to its satellite site in Naga City. We worked for three more weeks there along with free meals, free accommodation, free shuttle service, and even had a laundry allowance. It was like, we just went three hours away from home to work where the only requirement needed was to bring ourselves!

I met awesome friends there. I even met a friend who I thought hated me for the first time. She kept embarrassing and bullying me sometimes, but in her defense, she was just like that with people she actually likes.

Fast forward, and the seasonal job was over, and I had to train a few miles away (Lipa City) from Naga City, then back at it again. I first trained for ‘the real job’ after the whole one month in the same city we moved out from in January. To cut the long story short, I stayed three hours far away from my city where he also resides a few kilometers away from January to April.

This is where I learned why God didn’t want us to be physically together!

He was such a lonely, broken man who desperately searches for love and acceptance. And when he doesn’t get that, he destroys whatever he can get his hands on, even a woman’s feelings. His weakness was his ego. And he was kind of manipulative and self-centered for that matter. Although he was really kind towards me the first time, I learned that it was fake thanks to this ‘bully friend’ I had from that seasonal job.

This is the COINCIDENCE I was talking about earlier.

Of all the people he has to meet on a dating app, trying to cheat and lie to me regardless of our usual rule number 2, it was REALLY THIS FRIEND he has to meet. And there, I learned what I had to learn eventually, allowing me to move on faster than I usually do before.

When I fell in love with him, he destroyed me by literally intending to hurt me using this friend I thought didn’t like me. For a moment there, I thought the universe was playing tricks on me because of all people… why her?

They planned on hurting me intentionally, making me jealous, and he even had a good laugh watching me cry my heart out for something I hadn’t seen coming. When this friend realized what was going on, she knew she had to step up. She told me everything, confessed, and came clean.

That’s when I realized how I was losing myself again slowly.

I missed taking care of myself. I missed going to the gym. I missed being energetic and hyper at work. I missed doing the things that I love. I missed hanging out with my true best friends. I missed my alone times. I missed laughing during pig-outs with my family. Most of all, I missed myself; the better person I became after I was severely damaged almost a year ago.

All of these, I lost, because I tried taking care of him. I loved him, gave him the things I thought he needed, even shouldered for him the baggage I thought he couldn’t carry anymore, even if I I knew I couldn’t carry those myself.

I did those voluntarily. I tried diverting all my attention to him. Most of all, because I learned how to love him even at his worst, darkest days, I realized how I wasn’t loving me anymore because I was allowing these to happen. 

But clearly, I know, it wasn’t him that I hated most for breaking my heart… it was me I hated for choosing it this way.

A piece of advice, folks.

Choosing a person to love will really affect you not just emotionally, but also mentally, physically, and spiritually. And when you choose the wrong person because of their idea, you give yourself directions on how to lose yourself.

When you choose a wrong person and absorb their energy trying to meet them halfway, you also absorb their toxicity, their vibe, their spirit, and their soul. And if we keep on choosing broken people trying and hoping we could at least lift them up when they (and we) knew we’re not the fix, we end up breaking ourselves.

Question is… what about us, now?

To be completely honest, he only wanted to be ‘friends with benefits’ with me. I don’t even know why I agreed, maybe even before he established the rules I already liked him. Thank God nothing severe happened due to my mandatory move out for work. I was saved 10x the trouble before I could actually realize.

You know, I got even depressed at first because I felt like I looked ugly after my sunburn from Calaguas Island. A friend took me with him there and tried to help me clear my mind instead of wallowing with sadness at home. Alongside, I was also battling over a major problem and stress at work. I didn’t know what to think first, really.

Nevertheless, I had the guts to improve myself instead than sulking over it.

Despite being torn about going jobless for a month or so to heal and staying at work to still appear “worthy,” I resigned to take care of myself and my mental health, I wrote a song and had two of them recorded, I bought online courses to improve my blog and my lifestyle business dream, I volunteered to organize a big event, and I even tried to learn new things like the DJ course I attended last August.

So far, aside from God, being amazing with all these coincidences and plans, I learned the greatest lesson here, and it’s always about really choosing yourself always. After I got broken, I knew I had to fix myself and keep going. I knew I had to improve myself and make better decisions the next time around.

And then, it hit me.

God did this!

While the universe aligned everything from the meetup to the fall down, God took care of me by piling up these events, while still making this lesson happen.

I was weak and stubborn enough to say, “no” to him when I knew I didn’t want to but didn’t know how to reject. Maybe God stitched these events so He could pull me away easier from him… maybe without me, noticing at first.

Everything, indeed, happens for a reason and I always believe that. Both God and the universe knew what type of person I was constructed and made. With a Moon in Leo and a Saturn in Pisces, God knew what he should do to avoid me getting all the damage AGAIN. The universe just thought it out by giving me heads-ups through its universal signs.

Perhaps, this is just how I think, but hey. What’s not to appreciate?

Life is beautiful, indeed. ???

To That Leo Guy,

I always knew you were a broken fuckboy who constantly search for love and acceptance. I just didn’t know you’d choose me instead among anyone else. I will never understand why you chose to do those things when I knew I just looked right through you. Nevertheless, I forgive you. 

We were meant to meet for a reason, and I was meant to love you for a lesson.

 

 

tawas calamansi papaya all purpose cream
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Tawas Calamansi Papaya: How This Organic Filipino Beauty Product Is Kicking The Online Market Scene

I wouldn’t deny this, but this product – Tawas Calamansi Papaya all-purpose cream – has done a lot of AMAZING results not just to me, but also to a bunch of heaps!

To give you a brief overview of this product, the name itself “Tawas Calamansi Papaya” is what this product is organically made from: Alum, Philippine citrus (Citrofortunella microcarpa), and Papaya. 

This product promises to whiten all the dark areas of your body including elbows, underarms, bikini areas, and more. It can also be used for babies to cure diaper rashes, even on breastfeeding moms who just want to whiten their faces or soothe their growing stretchmarks.

For Your Information

Tawas or ‘Alum’ is a crystallized rock also used as an underarm deodorant to control perspiration. Many people use this as an alternative to commercial brands of antiperspirant to avoid the darkening of underarms.

Google defines Alum as a,

 “colorless astringent compound that is a hydrated double sulfate of aluminum and potassium, used in solution medicinally and in dyeing and tanning.”

It’s also a,

“A number of analogous crystalline double sulfates of a monovalent metal (or group) and a trivalent metal.”

Meanwhile, Calamansi is known as a natural whitening ingredient to whiten the armpits. Commonly found in the Philippines, the procedure to organically whiten the dark underarm is by cutting the piece in half and scrubbing each of the sliced halves on each armpit.

This green, little tangy and sour fruit has the capacity to lighten any dark areas of the body in just a matter of days due to its natural potent formulation that renews skin cells. It also exfoliates the dead, dark skin on the surface of the armpit skin, encouraging new skin cells to grow.

While it naturally helps whiten any dark areas, it also fights body odor and blemishes. This is actually the reason why Calamander (or Calamansi in the Philippines) is the most natural remedy to cease even acne.

Similarly, Papaya does the same job description. It is also one of the many natural remedies that help fight dark areas of the body.

Papaya does this best thanks to ‘papain’, a natural enzyme that promotes skin renewal and cell turnover. It allows the skin to exfoliate, revealing newer cells that soften the skin. It also has restorative properties that make a user glow naturally, especially when it’s moisturized.

Now you wonder why there are thousands of products be it commercialized or not that use this as their leading ingredient for whitening. Well, I think this is the reason.

Personally, I think all of these ingredients combined in one, organic product is ultimately possible for the promise Tawas Calamansi Papaya made. It’s an all-purpose cream you can use wherever you want, and even still, will give you the outcome you desire.

Before I thought of purchasing this product, I have seen a lot of Facebook testimonies saying this product was indeed, effective.

What really caught my attention were those who had severe, disgusting wounds and were cured by the aforementioned product! There’s this person who shared her testimony (which I can’t find on Facebook as of the moment) that cured her watering, wounds in just a matter of days! I’m not sure what kind of wound that was, I can hardly describe it, but I think it’s like a popped boil that burst into her legs, which waters and looks reddish at the same time. It’s like the thick, yellowish fluid found in sores except the water looked clear, and the wound was red like it was fresh flesh.

Since I can’t find that testimony, I’ll just share this one from a local distributor in Legazpi City:

Translation: “Credits to my distributor. This is real! Not a joke or something. Believe it or not, Tawas Calamansi [Papaya] by Goddess Touch is super amazing! [The product] was able to treat the allergy of my child’s classmate after 3 days of using. Look, it was already well! All her allergy went okay! TCP is the best!”


In my personal stand, I used this product on my face as a makeup base after I got sunburned on my Calaguas Island trip. This product easily gets sold out, and I’ve seen so many positive testimonials on almost all of my Facebook friends who aren’t just selling it but also using it.

Over time this is how I looked like using TCP from this…

tcp sunburned

…to THIS!

Tawas calamansi papaya

I just have the ring light as an enhancement to the lighting of this photo, but go figure! Amazing right?

The only minimal thing I saw as a disadvantage was when my face got really sweaty. I really looked like I came out of the sauna after three hours! As mentioned, I put this on my face as a makeup base, so maybe that wasn’t just efficient on my end. Putting this as a makeup base would make you really sweaty instantly, but I think that’s just part of its effects. It’s completely up to you if you use it with your makeup on or not, or if you want to use it at any body part instead.

I also tried using this on my underarm for two days. So far, so good.

Here are the other said benefits of Goddess Touch’s Tawas Calamansi Papaya:

tawas calamansi papaya

It also comes with an SPF 30 meaning you can go out and about the sun without damaging your skin!

Overall, this product has done its magic to millions of people in the Philippines, and I guess I’m one of those who has witnessed!

And since I only sell and promote the products I have tried, used, tested, and approved, you can go get yours here at my shop: The Hobbyist Post Online Shop.

It comes with two options a 10 grams package and a 50 grams. Choose yours!

Sources:

http://healthwhite.com/calamansi-benefits-on-underarm/

https://www.leaf.tv/articles/how-does-papaya-whiten-the-skin/

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Throwback 2015: Type X Production Goes to San Miguel Island!

I found a draft of this ‘San Miguel Island’ escapade on my list of unpublished articles today when I was double checking a few on my archives.

I don’t know why I hadn’t finished the blog post, I don’t even know when I started one and how I just left it sitting on my archives, but since I wrote both of my experiences in Calaguas Island and Muladbucad Beach recently, I might as well include this one either.

My San Miguel Island escapade way back in 2015 was actually one of the best island hopping I ever experienced. No, we didn’t have any awesome itinerary going, I just spent it with my best friends in the world!

Type X Production is actually the name of our group in thesis production. Our academic requirement mandated nine persons per group, and ours during this trip had my four best friends in college, Alan, Jenno, Fiona and Ery, three of my friends in the first squad I had during my freshmen year, Mecelle and Donna (Chelsea, the ninth person of the group, wasn’t around that time), and Fiona’s ex-boyfriend, Borj.

The outing was supposed to be a surprise birthday party for our friend, Alan. San Miguel Island is actually Ery’s hometown (yep, she’s one hell of an island-er), and we decided to celebrate it by going island hopping.

November 3, 2015

I slept over the night before at Ery’s place along with Fiona and prepared foods for the picnic the next day. Everyone brought a fair share of their food, and Alan brought his contribution as his birthday bash.

Everyone decided to meet at the Legazpi Grand Terminal going to Tabaco city. We hit the road around 7 AM and touched-down at around 8-9AM.

Afterward, we just went to the seaport and waited for Ery’s uncle for the motorboat ride. Hell, it was so amazing, that was actually my first-ever boat ride!

We arrived on the island at about 10 AM, settled and fixed where we went picnic-ing, played charades, had a little fun-shoot, took pictures and videos, and went swimming.

Here are some of the cool pictures I took.

That’s me, Fiona and Ery from left to right after our sleepover at Ery’s place. We were the first ones to arrive at the terminal, waiting for the others to come.

… and yes, I literally was SLIM back then, with 48kgs weight at best. ??

This was taken by Jenno so he isn’t in the picture. ? We were almost ready to hop in that jeepney and travel to Tabaco city! ?

Fast forward to the get-go of our first travel together, we arrived at the port around 8-9 AM and waited for Ery’s uncle for the motorboat ride. Usually, since it’s a chartered boat for rent, there would be other people riding in with us. But, nope… we were on this solo!

My friends took advantage of my former BlackBerry Z10 phone because I was the only one who had a phone with a good camera back then.

Here’s a picture of me with the motorboats at the back upon arriving at the island.

I wasn’t able to take pictures of the scenery, but I’ll show you a glimpse.

San Miguel Island

Photo credits to Legazpi City Page

Right? RIGHT? I know! Beautiful! ??

We took another group photo upon reaching the island and rode another one to get to that island part above.

Us before taking a trip to that isolated island at Brgy. Rawis, San Miguel.

Upon reaching the island, there we went, settled the foods, the sheet-cloth we used as our picnic mat, and our bags.

After all of that, we just took pictures, some of us went eating, and me… well, I did this! ??

Ew, my hair looked ugly way back ugh ???

… and this… ?

I still can’t believe how Jenno made me pose like this. I looked stupid! Lol. Plus the hair, it’s… ugly! ?? Why, 2015 self? ?

… and this. ???

Posing like that under the heat of the sun at 12 noon, on slimy, melted rocks that went hard was what caused my sunburn in 2015. I looked really bad and haggard, ’cause I have this sort of theory about sunblocks not being “sun-blocks.”

It took me almost two years to get my skin color back, and a lot of exfoliating and whitening soaps, lotions, supplements, even body scrubs to have my fair-looking skin back. Thank God it did not just come back, it also improved! I posted some of those here at my shop.

On the brighter side, I looked sexy on some pics just as this one…

… and the one that looks like I’m still talking for Pete’s sake. ???

Way to go, Mangga (Jenno)! ??

Overall, even though we didn’t have any other itinerary going, it was amazing laughing and having a good time with my friends.

More more pictures going home. ?

We really made sure to ‘seize the time’ before graduation (this is one of the basis I used in the lyric of my friendship-themed song, ‘Feel The Vibe’ for our Christmas MTV and songwriting project, which you can watch here), and really made memories before we parted.

I even learned that the craziest way to cease a sea urchin’s sting was to either put lemon in it… or pee! LOL.

Weird. ?

I would always look back at that day, nonetheless. ?

muladbucad beach
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Throwback 2017: My ‘Muladbucad’ Soul-Searching Experience

I haven’t thought of this for a while, but there was yet another beach that fascinated me during my summer escapade last April 2017 – the Muladbucad beach!

muladbucad beach

Talk about another impulsivity, but it was when I went back to Bicol in March 2017 after I resigned at my previous job in Manila for 11 months. I don’t know why or how, but I suddenly felt depression kicking in when, this time, I knew there wouldn’t be a salary to look forward to every 15th and 30th day of the month, and that, my last paycheck could still be claimed a month after. Ergo, I was broke.

That was also the time I got diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome in late January 2017 due to my on-again-off-again fever which didn’t stop for a week! I thought it was dengue until I decided to get checked at St. Luke’s Medical Center, BGC. Back then, my OB asked me to take contraceptive pills so my period would regulate. But since it was making me super fat, I immediately stopped the prescription.

In all honesty, that was what triggered my initial concealed depression, aside from the crucial diagnosis being the cause. But it was later that year when I realized it was because of the contraceptive pill I stopped taking. If you happen to experience delayed menstruations and irrational hormonal imbalance, you might want to check out this article to see if you’ve got PCOS too.

Anyway, going back.

Due to my unemployment, I decided to go back to freelance writing and editing academic papers. To cut the long story short, I landed a few jobs at Upwork, and had this offline client from De La Salle University (DLSU), Manila who paid me P5, 000 ($100) for three essays. I’m glad I helped her get a grade higher than she was expecting.

Since I’ve got spare money after paying my bills, I decided to go travel alone.  At first, I was rooting for Paguiriran Island in Sorsogon, but thought it was too far away from home. Eventually, after posting a Facebook status asking how to get there, my grade school teacher sent me a message recommending yet another option: the Muladbucad beach in Manito, Albay.

The night before, I bought myself a new one-piece swimsuit, snacks, a selfie stick, and packed money. Since my mom and dad didn’t allow me to travel alone yet, they told me to bring my brother with me.

Here’s the instruction on how to get there if you’re from Legazpi:

1. Ride a jeep going to Manito, Albay at the jeepney terminal located near the Legazpi Bus and Van Grand Terminal. If you happen to miss the ride, proceed at the back of Albay Cathedral.  There are jeeps you can find there that are on standby to wait for early passengers. It’s going to be a long 1 hour and 30-minute drive from Legazpi, so you better grab your breakfast before boarding.

2. Once you arrive at the Centro of Manito (Manito proper), rent a tricycle going to Muladbucad beach. That’s roughly a 15-30-minute ride.

You will end up on a small esikinita (lane) going to the beach as it is located underground. What’s cooler is that you’ll be experiencing free trekking until you hit the bridge where you can pay the entrance fee of P10 (¢2 cents) before you get there.

This is how amazing Muladbucad Beach experience was! It was really fascinating to look at!

See? I told you contraceptive pills made me fat! ??

The main reason why I did this is that I wanted to break free from stress and soul-search. I wanted to heal so bad that I really did end up going to places just to search ‘me.’ Glad it was worth every penny. And I’m GLAD I DID BRING my brother with me (although I shouldered all his expenses) because it really would be TOO boring to go alone.

We’ve had an amazing conversation about life, love, and all of that – which we rarely do nowadays due to our busy schedules – and had a good laugh with the local kids there, thinking I was a celebrity because they thought I looked ‘too beautiful.’ LOL!  ?

My brother and I went home at 1 PM and got back in Legazpi at 3 PM. We’ve had late lunch at Biggs’ Diner, Ayala by then.

Overall, this experience was amazing. Although I found it too boring because I didn’t go to the waters that much, and my brother and I didn’t have many itineraries to go to. The good conversation we had, the waves of laughter, good food, and the amazing view that deemed worthy was what saved us.

Actually, I didn’t swim much because I was scared to get tanned after ‘feeling traumatized’ from the sunburn I got on our San Miguel Island escapade in 2015… not because I didn’t know how to swim… which I actually really don’t. Lol. ??

I asked my brother to keep taking pictures of me, and I can’t believe the stolen ones looked better than the ones I actually posed for! ?

Here’s me on the crystalline part of the water…

… and there’s me on the seashore! LOL! ?

If you’re from Manila (or outside of the Philippines, having your vacation there and are interested to visit this unspoiled beach), here’s how:

Via Bus

  1. Book a 12-hour bus ride from Cubao or Pasay going to Legazpi, Albay (Bicol). Usual air-conditioned bus fare is at P800 – P900 pesos.
  2. Apply steps 2 and 3 from the “From Legazpi” directions.

Via Plane

  1. If you’re going for a plane ride, and touched-down Legazpi airport, ride a tricycle from the Airport exiting Airport road.
  2. Ride a Letter “B” going to Legazpi and drop-off at Pacific Mall, Metro Gaisano mall. You have the option to walk or ride the Jeep terminal there, so it’s entirely your choice.
  3. Apply steps 2 and 3 from the “Legazpi directions.”

Now, this is if you want to go there at a minimum cost. However, if you’re feeling excited to be there at the beach, you can always call for a taxi ride from the airport.

By the way…

I’m pretty sure you’ll appreciate the beach much more as it is raw, untouched, and unspoiled, unlike any other white sand beaches. Muladbucad beach in Manito, Albay isn’t commercialized yet (or so it was in 2017), unlike that of Calaguas Island.

Everything feels serene, peaceful, and happy. It’s perfect for people who want to relax and have peace of mind. And mind you, there is no signal there, so if you’re literally escaping from the toxicity of the urban jungle, Muladbucad beach is one of the best choices!

skincare wellness beauty
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The Top 3 Products I Used To Get My Fair Skin Back In Just 3-4 Weeks

Believe it or not, I was able to get my fair skin back faster than I expected after my ‘unexpected’ Calaguas Island trip!

Although it kind of sucked since I’ve spent more money enhancing my radiance and glow for about two years after our San Miguel Island escapade in 2015, my journey back to radiance was once again achieved in just 3-4 weeks!

The reason behind this is well, another impulsivity.

There was this promo at Derma Medics Facial and Body Center of their Snow White Capsule Glutathione, where you can get it at less P900 ($18) I think if you buy three (3) at this certain amount. Since I was desperate enough to have mine back, I immediately contacted the nurse who asked me a year ago to model for them and bought three of these under the promo instantly!

I asked her if the Snow White Drip (glutathione injection) was better than the intake. But I figured since both acquired 500mg dosage, I just bought the capsules instead.

Before leaving the clinic, I asked her if the product upon finishing 90 capsules (per bottle consist of 30 capsules) would quickly return my color. She told me that the best thing to do about this was to take Vitamin C and Vitamin E alongside the Glutathione, and use an exfoliating soap to cease the sunburned area.

I did as I was told. I bought my usual Vitamin E from March 2018 – the Prolife Atlas 400 I.U. Vitamin E – along with BHK’s Vitamin C.

But before pursuing the intake of three (3) dietary supplements all at once, I did my research first.

I was a bit hesitant to take those three all at the same time (not that I don’t trust the advise), but I got too skeptical for my own good. Perhaps, it’s just because I wasn’t accustomed to taking supplements all at the same time but hey, I did learn more facts about the ‘E’ and the ‘C’ together!

According to Dr. Stacy Wiegman, PharmD, a licensed pharmacist, and medical writer/editor,

“There hasn’t been much research on the benefits of taking vitamins C and E together versus taking them at different times. However, one 2004 study suggested that older people may be able to reduce their risk of Alzheimer’s disease by taking the two vitamins together. The findings suggested that the protection occurs when the vitamins are taken in the high doses typical of individual supplements — 500 to 1,000 micrograms (or more) of vitamin C and up to 1,000 IU of vitamin E. People in that study didn’t seem to lower their risk of Alzheimer’s disease if they took either vitamin alone.”

Dr. Michael Roizen, MD, board certified in both Anesthesiology and Internal Medicine in Cleveland, Ohio further states that,

“Two age-reducing vitamins, if taken together, are C and E. Although these vitamins exert powerful antioxidant activity, they may be producing their benefits through effects that are very different from anti-oxidation. Taken together, vitamins C and E help keep your cardiovascular system healthy by reducing the amount of harmful buildup on the walls of your arteries. In addition, vitamin C strengthens the immune system, improves both eye and lung function, and helps the body heal. Vitamins C and E, taken in combination, help keep the arteries relaxed and elastic. You can make your Real age (physiologic age) one year younger by taking 600 milligram (mg) or more (up to 2,000 mg) of vitamin C a day as supplements (in divided doses of no more than 500 mg in any six hours) and 400 international unit (IU) of vitamin E a day, in addition to eating a balanced diet with lots of fresh fruits and vegetables.”

For the whitening part that involves these two, other consumers on random Google forums suggest that taking both Vitamins E and C (plus Glutathione) had positive results on them, which I can attest too.

Here are the Top 3 products I highly recommend if you want to have a fairer, whiter, and glowing skin (or your original skin color if you ever got sunburned) in just 3-4 weeks:

vitamin e vitamin c glutathione

Derma Medics’ Snow White Capsule Glutathione

There are many reasons why I love Derma Medics, which you can find here. But for this part, I love how it gave its promise of a real ‘Snow White’ skin! Per bottle consist of 30 capsules good for 30 days. You can take it once a day, preferably with a meal.

glutathione skin whitening

This product was originally made in Japan with 500mg dosage. Aside from being FDA approved, which means the product can really be trusted, it can help your skin achieve the radiance, glow, and smoothness you desire.

It’s more than just whitening, it’s also an anti-aging. Expect a flawless skin that also protects you from cancer, detoxification, kidney diseases, and liver damage. I think the edge of this product among all the glutathione products I’ve known and tested (was only able to use two brands of Glutathione my whole life) was this can also prevent stress, depression, and insomnia. Plus, it can help normalize your cholesterol level so what’s not to love?

Here are the instructions on how to use:

If you also want to try this product, you can go grab it here at my shop!

Prolife Atlas 400 I.U. Vitamin E

Many people have always acknowledged my skin color since childhood, but it was just recently when I got complimented by my natural-looking, radiant glow.

Aside from using Fairy Skin on my face, I also got noticed by many heaps on how my entire body ‘just glowed’ more. Roughly 5-6 months ago, I’ve been seeing this dietary supplement going rounds on Facebook, and was even compared to a known brand for its effectivity… except the latter was expensive.

vitamin e whitening

I bought one for myself out of curiosity last March 2018. I was surprised to have seen little, tiny soft gels in color yellow, and has found it cute because it’s too… soft. I think resisting to ‘press’ it hard before taking it would be the ultimate trial here, but overall, it was in fact good!

I loved it because honestly, even though I went to work with minimal to no sleep, I still felt pumped and energized! I used to work for a big company in the marketing department of a branch in my city, and one of the main job descriptions was to organize and handle events conducted in the mall. Ingresses and egresses were required, meaning we had to stay up late until we finish the setup for events. Guess what? There was never – even a minimal – moment I felt tired. I even come to work with no sleep for almost 24-30 hours back then! This was also what I loved about this product.

Just to give you an overview, here are the supplement facts:

vitamin e whitening

I use Prolife Atlas until today, just so you know. If you want to try it yourself, you can get it here.

BHK Vitamin C

First of all, I never had any intention of buying this product in the first place. That day, I was impulsive on ordering this product online and was thinking of just canceling right after due to a monetary shortage.

When I figured it was out for delivery, I even tried not to contact the delivery guy when he was about to arrive at my doorstep! Eventually, I just paid for the ‘Cash on Delivery’ purchase, and I couldn’t believe how I couldn’t be any happier I did buy this!

First thing’s foremost, this product gave me the utmost result I wasn’t expecting in the first place.

You see, this ascorbic acid has a double-whitening effect due to the double-layered tablet it possesses. I’m not sure if this is a Chinese or Taiwanese product (because when you look at the packaging it has Chinese characters in it), but the main market of this brand and item are mostly celebrities from Taiwan and Malaysia.

I would love to insert an anchor text there, but everything on the website it leads me are in Chinese characters. I don’t even know which are the celebrities or models. LOL. I just based this statement on many articles, blog posts, even promotions.

vitamin c whitening

Back part packaging of BHK’s Vitamin C in Chinese characters

According to many, this product can help sustain your energy alongside providing you with an enhanced whitening effect. Experts in the medical field say Vitamin Cs can help boost whitening. Since this is a double-layered tablet that helps your body to absorb the vitamin effectively, whitening is guaranteed faster than normal Vitamin Cs.

This product also forms collagen for skin elasticity, promote iron absorption for a rosy cheek effect, has curcumin that serves as an energy-booster, minerals that maintain complete membrane, and high Vitamin C that helps wound recovery.

So far, my results using this product were good compared to how damaged my skin was when I hadn’t applied sunblock during my island trip two months ago.

Me after getting sunburned. Lol.

I have to admit I was actually pretty scared to buy this product due to most people’s stereotype about Chinese products being fake, but so far, it works for me. Just beware of the fake ones.

If you want to try and test this product too, you can go grab it here.

Overall, I can say that using these products helped me achieve my original skin color back in just 3-4 weeks. Just don’t overdo it, because there are harmful effects that can be acquired if you take too much.

I’ll just discuss that on my next article.

Me in June 2018

Me now (September 2018)

For now, if you want to have a fair-looking skin without looking dull, I recommend these Top 3 products for your own use. So far, I’m doing well with mine, as I’ve been using it for about two months now since July 2018.

I couldn’t be any more satisfied!

Sources:

https://www.sharecare.com/health/vitamin-c/what-benefits-vitamins-c-e
https://www.quora.com/Does-vitamin-E-and-vitamin-C-whiten-the-skin
https://www.skinrenews.com/blogs/news/vitamin-c-in-natural-skin-lightening