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My Baguio-Nueva Ecija Trip: How The Last Weeks Of My December 2018 Went (A Super Late Post)

December 15 – 19, 2018

Going to Baguio City after like… 18 years?; and to Nueva Ecija was one of the most unforgettable and fun things I did with my roommates unexpectedly.


If only I knew we’d go here, I would have recreated these photos. 😂

I was just lying on my bed; wanting one hell of a long sleep, when my former roommate, Cherry, asked me to tag along to Baguio City. I’m not sure why that was, but I honestly didn’t feel like going. It was also one of my best friends’ baby shower happening that night, and I was also tasked to drop by at work before starting on January 2nd. So yes, all I wanted to do that morning was to sleep!

I was then talked out of my senses when Cherry and Jessica – my roommates – convinced me to finally tag along. Eventually, I said “yes” with us, having different agenda in the afternoon at first (I went to my soon-to-be new job, and my best friend’s baby shower and gender reveal, while the two of them went thrift shopping at Baclaran).

Before dusk, we also went to Mary Kay Makati where I officially became a Mary Kay Philippines Beauty Consultant. My certification was done the week after. You can read more about my MK Experience here.

At 8 PM, I went to my best friend, Ery’s, baby shower and gender reveal along with our college friends. I honestly didn’t know we’d be off to Baguio City at midnight. I was just texted we’d go after my mini-gathering with college friends. 😂

I thought we were leaving for Baguio the next day, I didn’t know it was going to be that night! So when we arrived at midnight in QC, we immediately packed all our stuff and went to Baguio. Cherry rented a van that time.

Here’s our back-to-back Baguio-Nueva Ecija Escapade on December 2018

Baguio City Itinerary

We went to check-in at Albergo, one of the most finest-looking hotel in Baguio. I swear, this was too beautiful for a hotel! It’s like a condo-type hotel with a complete set of furniture and kitchen utensils.

The bed was a cool double-decker where Jessica and I slept at the bottom bunk. It has drawer-like beddings underneath the queen-sized bed (bottom bunk), so if there was a need for an extra, say, a companion; (but of course we wouldn’t just let the driver sleep where we sleep), it can just be pulled out!

At lunch, we went to eat at Good Taste Restaurant where the food served were merely lutong bahay (home-cooked viands) and gulay (vegetables). Yum! 😋

In the afternoon, we went to Strawberry Farm to see some strawberries…

… and sunflowers…

And then proceeded to The Mines View where I did me some horse-riding… 😂

… and a dramatic pose on the view uphill… 😂 LOL! 😆

Then we went to The Mansion at almost 6 PM…

And finally the next day, at the famous Burnham Park…

It was freezing cold in Baguio City and some folks even told us it was ‘sunnier’ that time. Meaning, it could have been colder if we went some other day. 😨😂

I’m not sure how you can go to Baguio City via bus as we rode a Montero that time, but here’s a bit of information on how to get there via commute and/or private transport:

Via Commute

  1. Go to a Victory Liner bus in Manila bound for Baguio City. You can either ride from Pasay, Cubao and/or Caloocan. Regular fare is 450 Php (depending on the bus company).

Via Private Transport

  1. Take the NLEX (North Luzon Expressway) going to the SCTEX from Manila at Exit 85.
  2. Drive from SCTEX to Tarlac City, then turn left to a road.
  3. Continue driving until you reach Mc Arthur Highway.
  4. Turn right, drive continuously along Tarlac City roads and Pangasinan province until you reach Rosario, La Union.
  5. From Rosario, La Union junction, turn right to Kennon Road.
  6. Turn right again to Marcos Highway.
  7. That’s all the way to Baguio City. Just drive along!

Nueva Ecija Itinerary

Okay – so I’m not sure what happened AGAIN, but we all impulsively thought of going to Nueva Ecija as part of our roommate’s “job.” I’m not sure what she does honestly, all I knew was that we went there as well to have fun.

We arrived at around 9 PM and went straight to Villa Liza Resort and Restaurant to stay in for the night. Aside from having dinner, we went straight to sleep.

Mornings in Bongabon, Nueva Ecija be like…

… and BREAKFAST! 😍

Fried sunny-side up eggs, longganisa, and corned beef for breakfast

After breakfast photos be like…

And of course, by the pool-side…

I can’t give full directions on how to get there since we were using a rented car to go straight ahead. But here’s what I was able to get a hold of:

Full Address: Villa Liza Resort and Restaurant, Aurora Rd., Bongabon Nueva Ecija
Contact Number: 09494095323 / 0917 710 9600

We should be getting back to Manila by Monday morning but things got out of hand, and my former roommate asked if we could stay one more day. I forgot what the reason was, but the extended stay on Monday was spent going to Pantabangan Dam.

I looked chubby-AF there, though. 😂

Just by looking at this picture, the sunset with nature just feels serene-AF for me. It’s very heart-warming! I don’t know if it’s just me or what, but this picture looks peaceful. ❤🍃

Not to mention a VIEW with the waters feels divine! 😍 I am very in love with everything that is Pantabangan Dam (I am a super fan of the ocean, so waters like these make my soul feel good)! 😍💖

We extended ANOTHER night after Monday, as we went straight to Minalungao National Park after leaving Bongabon, Nueva Ecija for some sightseeing and exploration on Tuesday morning.

The view at Minalungao National Park was super amazing, I bet this is the REAL AND BEST highlight of our impulsive trip!

Here are some of my photos in Minalungao National Park

I posed like I was owning it. Hell-yeah! Haha. 😂

And this view? Dang! It’s a must-see! 😍

This one’s across the river near the cave. My other roommate, Jessica, and I would have gone to the caves if only dogs didn’t run after her that time! Hahaha! I literally ROTFL-ed that time as she even went to HUG a random stranger out of fear. 😂

Everyone was laughing including me! 😂😆

Here we are (with me overcoming my fear of heights), as we took our picture in the middle of the HANGING BRIDGE! 😂

And here’s me, and well… my favorite purple socks! 😂😆

If only we had one more day to stay, we would have seized it as there were TONS OF OTHER ACTIVITIES you can do here at Minalungao National Park:

  • Bamboo rafting and swimming
  • Walk the hanging bridge
  • Hike and/or Trek
  • Go Zipline!
  • Cliff Dive
  • Spelunking/Caving
  • And many many more! 😍

To get here via commute (because I wasn’t able to keep track of how our private transport went)

  1. Ride a bus from Cubao or Pasay (whichever is near to you) going to Gapan or Cabanatuan. Travel time is 3 hours. Fare is 150-200 Php, but I’m not sure if this still hasn’t changed.
  2. Afterward, ride a jeep to General Tinio.
  3. Then, ride a tricycle going to Minalungao Park. Fare is 50 Php.

You also have an option of riding a tricycle from Gapan to Minalungao park, but that’s around 500-800 Php at 1.5 hours average.

We eventually went home on Tuesday evening after all the extended travels.

To be completely honest, going on with this impulsive trip had caused me my work ethic. I went absent for so many days at work (I was on a pre-resign state that time), and I literally didn’t go to work on purpose anymore out of guilt. Hahaha! I know, I know. It was my bad as this wasn’t a good idea; I should have resigned properly yada-yada-yada (I swear it wasn’t as ‘easy’ as you think… but I also swear I won’t do that again)… but I won’t trade this soul-searching experience for a 9:30 PM – 6:30 AM job that only elevated my severe depression during (hence my short hiatus on blogging for almost 3 months).

This experience helped me breathe and find myself again. And I must say it is indeed true that ‘traveling’ really opens up your soul for brand new things to see. Traveling is really food for the soul; so when one tells you this, you’ve got to believe them as it did me.

Despite the judgment I’ve gotten for what I did for the first time, I wouldn’t trade this opportunity where I got close to healing. I wouldn’t trade this experience of healing my soul over some judgment that, “I don’t have a ‘proper’ work ethic” because THIS EXPERIENCE was what healed me from a job that only made my depression worse (throwing some shade aside).

This experience and opportunity opened up my eyes to ways on how I can deal with my deteriorating mental state moving forward. It’s not just about ‘traveling’ per se, although that’s part of it. It’s about the lessons, divine interventions, learnings, and growth along the way.

Ergo… every risk was worth it! 😊💖

self love
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Confessions Of A Hopeless Romantic: This Is Why I Don’t Regret Dating So Many Guys In The Past, Because It Taught Me Self-Love

I’m a hopeless romantic.

And being a hopeless romantic, especially in a sea of people playing filthy games called “modern dating,” is a special kind of torture. It’s impossible not to lose your self-love… or so I think.

Hopeless Romantics.

These people are the usually called, “marupok” in Filipino slang, referencing the English word, “breakable.” They easily fall for the people that never had the intention of loving them back because their hearts are full of love, they only want to “give.” They also invest all of themselves even in exchange for nothing just to ‘feel loved’ for a second or minute. And they usually come off as “easy to get” because a little amount from you feels like grand. They won’t, for a minute, second-guess or reconsider their situations, because loving you is just what’s on top of their mind.

Without noticing, this is how they put themselves in danger. And I, myself, couldn’t agree more.

Being a hopeless romantic is being the person who chooses to be naive because they always see the best in people. Quite the reason why they’re always called a “fool,” but these are the people who will choose to fight for you, even if you’re not worth fighting for in the first place.

They are the types of lovers who will choose to look right through you no matter what you’ve been through, or what culture had developed you. They see your heart before anyone else. And they will look right through it despite other people’s judgments.

In a society where people judge first based on the superficial, there are the “hopeless romantics” who dig deep into your heart first before appreciating what’s on the outside. And unless you’re not looking for a commitment or something serious, a hopeless romantic is the one who will make you feel truly loved.

I remember how people always judged me for having dated so many guys in the past because of my hopeless-romanticism. People thought I was too hungry for love, and sometimes, they thought I was just the typical kind of “flirt” who knew her way with boys. 

They never knew what I went through because of that, however. All they’ll ever tell you was how they “didn’t care.”

They never knew the trouble I faced when a new rumor was up. They never knew the heartbreak I overcame alone because I loved and trusted too much again. They never knew the pain I endured when I was already questioning my self-worth; asking why I always ended up like that. And they never knew how hard it was getting up every time I hit rock-bottom for the same old situation, believing it would be different this time around.

Consequently, they will never understand how I only wanted to have a fairy-tale kind of love story. How I wanted this daydream, wishing I’d “real-life” it someday. And they will never understand how hopelessly hopeful I just was to feel and experience that from every guy I meet through serendipity… even on Facebook chat.

Silly me.

I don’t know if there’s anyone who could understand the heart of a hopeless romantic, but they – we – are just the type of people who are, by definition, in love with love. Sometimes, we couldn’t foresee and determine what’s only the “idea” of it and what’s really it. Other times, we disregard both the idea and the reality because we only care about feeling it.

And because our kind is empathetic by nature and sees the beauty in just about everything, this includes the heart of a broken fuckboy who, to everyone’s eyes, only has the intention of toying with a woman.

Our kind knew there’s more to them than just that deep inside, that we don’t realize how we’re falling for a trap.

And when we get hurt, we knew we couldn’t do anything about it. Because in the eyes of people we chose it, but in our hearts, we knew we just felt like flowing with it.

self love

Bruised lips, soft skin, beige dress, and a heart that’s all over you.

In my case, the saddest part of it all was when I got toyed, and I never got to defend myself. I was always afraid of what the universe might cost me if I fight back. I never got to have vengeance because that wasn’t me. And the only thing I could do about it that time was to shut myself out… or vent it out using my passion or a hobby.

Although I did rant some of these on social media, it only made people think I was “guilty.”

I wasn’t there to defend myself from the critics. I didn’t care at first, of course, because I knew better about myself. I even cracked jokes about it, not thinking it would register differently to other people’s minds. And even if I knew myself better, I didn’t know that was my ticket to ruining myself in the long run, and it did affect my reputation entirely.

The aforementioned reputation preceded me until… last year? I’m not sure if until today I still do, but what I knew was that the more I spoke against it, the more I was perceived as “guilty.” 

And the more I ignored about it, the more I gave them opportunities to talk differently about me every day.

I never knew my place. I always appeared angry when I was still ranting on social media. I didn’t have any friends to talk to about this, and people judged me as an “attention-seeking whore.” They’ve never seen the agony I had to go through being in a tough situation over a guy who I never planned to like or date in the first place. Most especially, they’ve never felt the struggle of having no one to talk to about this dilemma, that I thought I only had Facebook to deal with it.

I am beyond thankful for my recent best friend, Kate, who listened to me every single day I had sad thoughts going on. She was the reason I stopped ranting on social media because I finally found someone in her who would actually listen. And she was the reason I was able to learn the essence of privacy because I hadn’t known that when I thought I should always “post” my side in defense to those destructive criticisms. Along with that, she taught me how to trust and muster up my courage because my other best friends were just waiting for me to hit up.

To be honest, no one realized this was what created all those rants. When these experiences and bottled-up feelings created a strong-ass, straightforward woman all along, they thought I changed for the worst, creating a monster out of me. Of course, that’s what they only saw. Even my former best friend of 12 years thought likewise hence the partition.

I don’t regret it though. Maybe it was for the best.

I also never knew this was going to be the reason why guys thought they could easily have me. I never knew one rumor could change everyone’s perspective about me.

The usual cycle goes like this.

I post a picture of me on social media, and a guy would either compliment me or chat with me because of that. I ignore them at first of course, until they make an “effort” to talk to me. Being a hopeless romantic myself who has no one to talk to except a “best friend” who only talked about her love life, those mere gestures were already grand. What can you say, that’s how the hopeless romantic’s heart operates  – always the appreciative ones.

… or maybe I just needed someone to talk to every day.

When I got to know them as days goes by, I feel like I have someone to “brag” about to keep up and ease my feelings of being “left out.” I also feel like, there’s someone who I can finally “talk to” about my thoughts and feelings …anxieties included (as per mentioned, I never had someone to talk to about things unlike today, because even the aforementioned former best friend hated me for posting too much).

And when a guy finally notice how I’m slowly falling for their gestures, they would want to meet up in person to test the compatibility. That’s not the case, most of the time, however. They would want to meet up so they could test the waters and see if the rumors about me were true. Sometimes, they would even want to have sex on the first date.

Guess what? That’s how I knew there wouldn’t be “Date number 2 or 3.” That’s how I knew I was going to be “ghosted.” And that’s how I also knew I was about to get stuck in an “almost relationship.”

And I wasn’t able to realize all of these then until today.

Because those rumors about me reflected otherwise, they knew they had to run away before they can even catch the disease  – my disease (err, feelings). What lesson I learned from all of this is to never give your heart out too easy to not lose yourself in the process. It’s really essential to get to know the person first, and my biggest mistake in all of these was I jumped quickly without testing the waters first.

Absorbing the wrong people’s energy and getting too familiar with them would make you change you to meet them halfway when it’s impossible. And when you change yourself for the wrong person, you slowly lose who you are and what you fight for, for their demands. When you do this, it’s impossible for you to find your way back, unless you go back to how you achieved ‘step one’ of your healing processes. And if you think step one was really hard to attain the moment you decided you wanted to heal, imagine how harder it would be going back at it again and again.

The only problem with me was that… I overlooked it. I hoped it wouldn’t be the same in every guy I dated. That’s why the “numbers” went high, and I gave me the reason why anyone has the right to call me that.

As time goes by, I realized… guys who say they want me just want to test the waters. And if they don’t want you enough to be with you, they’d save themselves the trouble of ever confronting with you.

I’m happy to be the person who doesn’t crave that much love from anyone today because I have learned to really love myself for good during the process.

I don’t understand, and I even feel bad about saying this, but when I lost that aforementioned “best friend,” I felt like the “pressure” of having a boyfriend went along with her. Maybe it was because she hasn’t really listened to what I have to say because her priorities were divided, or maybe it was just because I felt envious of her situation and she wasn’t sensitive enough to realize it, that I thought “being with a guy” was the way to keep up with her. Nevertheless, she was indeed a good friend  – a best friend if I can describe that entire 12 years we’ve been together, side-by-side. Maybe, it really wasn’t just meant to be. And it really had to take me losing her to finally figure out the lesson I had to learn all these years.

I’m glad I finally feel “free” from all that awful baggage I’ve been carrying all my life. Unlike before when I usually dwell on my heartbreak because my situation has been repetitive all these years, I’m glad I finally saw my worth this time. I’ve witnessed this myself when this Leo guy I loved has hurt me, and I neither ranted nor felt bad about it for a long time. Instead, I craved to be a better person than I was before, I yearned to be a stronger woman, and this time, a wiser one at that.

When one of my best friends showed me his picture together with his new girl together, I knew I finally moved on because I literally and sincerely wished him happiness and peace of mind. I knew that’s what he needed, and I genuinely wished him that. My heart feels happy for him, without losing my hopeless romanticism in me because that’s who I am.

All I can say right now is that I’m happy with the lesson, growth, am glad for my soul, and am extremely joyful for my heart. I don’t despise myself for having this kind of personality anymore, because to be honest, I figured, this is what makes me, me. ? And I believe someday I would be loved for this.

Thinking so, I guess this is what you call self-love. ?

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10 Things I Learned That Helped Me Grow As A Person, Because It Was Also What Made Me Happy

We all have different paths on growth. Some people learned their lessons as quickly as they’ve committed their first mistakes, some do after a couple of years.

I was part of the latter.

I learned most of my lessons SLOWLY, and I still keep learning them until today. I don’t know, maybe I’m just a firm believer that perhaps, I can still project my expected result even if I keep making the same decision that went wrong the first time around. I wanted to keep proving myself wrong. I wanted to prove to the universe that I’m capable of making my life “okay” on my own using my same, old routine. I kept doing it so because I hated change so much. I hated going out of my comfort zone, and I hated changing what I already was accustomed to do.

What a stubborn, little ram.

I don’t know what was wrong with me back then. I felt like I wasn’t learning all my lessons. Just like this incident one year ago with a fuckboy who screwed me over severely, I was only able to learn self-love and self-respect after six years. It took me a really hard lesson to figure that out, and if only I wasn’t so stubborn all those years, I could have been saved an ounce of trouble back then.

Well, everything happens for a reason, though.

Despite all those hard lessons and slow recovery, I was able to see, feel, and witness growth without realizing it. Along with it, I realized what the truest essentials of being happy are.

So, here are the top 10 things you do when you grow because trust me, it constitutes happiness:

 

1. You avoid negativity on purpose

When you’re growing up, you avoid too much drama already. You don’t engage in petty fights, you don’t involve yourself over people you know aren’t essential to your growth, and you try to detach yourself from toxicity as much as possible.

I’ve learned this when I stopped ranting and posting on Facebook. I used to rant petty things on social media when my ego was either stepped on, my heart got broken, I found something funny, or when I was trying to diss someone who has wronged me.

I’ve learned that silence is the best revenge because when you show people you’re neither affected nor aggravated, you find peace of mind.

2. You want to keep learning

You realize you don’t want to depend on a single skill. You realize learning how to do things on your own without depending on anyone works far better. And you realize sticking to your comfort zone and not going out of the box will make you feel restless.

You will start to hate stagnancy. Because you want to keep moving, and you want to keep moving to improve yourself.

I am the type of person who loves learning a new skill, and I’ve had this mindset about “learning” things my own instead of depending on anyone. I hate it when work doesn’t get done because of people’s work ethics. This is the main reason why I’m efficient working alone than with somebody.

Because of this attitude, I also learned how “learning” is essential for your growth. Because when you have no one to depend on, and when you get left out eventually, you have your own.

And when you know a lot of things yourself, you avoid stagnancy. You avoid complaining about what to do next because, for you, it already has been done.

3. You’re always honest about yourself and how you feel

You no longer try to impress other people to like you. You care less about what others think about you, and what their opinions about your life are.

You know that being honest with yourself and how you feel is the best way to get to know you better, and to get to know the things that would actually work for you either.

4. You acknowledge your mistakes

You acknowledge every inch of mistake you’ve done in the past. And you learn from them.

You know that knowing all of these will help you better yourself. That, acknowledging all of your mistakes will help you become a better person. You’re also mature enough to understand that sometimes you can be the toxic person, and this is one in many ways a way to improve yourself while learning.

5. You accept your flaws and your shortcomings

So what if your teeth are not perfect? So what if you have stretch marks, unlike those young adults who have perfect waists? And so what if you’ve had so many guys fooled you because they thought you weren’t “good” enough?

When you learn to accept your flaws and your shortcomings, you learn to love yourself for who you are. You start shying away all of your insecurities because you know you can leverage them. And you stop hating yourself for what you think you lack.

Remember, a person’s strength may be your weakness, but you also have a strength that makes them their weaknesses. You just have to leverage these weaknesses to become stronger… and unique.

6. You leverage your weaknesses to become stronger

As mentioned, this may sound like a cliche, but this is also one ticket to growth.

When I realized that there are things that I cannot change about myself, I knew I can always use them as an inspiration to become better for myself instead. Just like this personal example for myself. I didn’t know how to cook back then, and I’ve always envied people who are good at it. Some started a business out of it, and some were LOVED because of it.

Instead of doing the same thing immature people do like backstabbing their success or sabotaging things they couldn’t have, there I was learning how to cook step-by-step. Guess what? People loved my very own Spicy White Tuna Pasta. That’s the very first time I learned how to cook on my own. It’s just a recipe I improvised from a recipe I found on the internet. You can read more about that here.

Another instance was when I knew I have PCOS (meaning there’s a huge possibility of me not having a baby), and my Saturn is in Pisces on the 7th house (meaning I would have a lot of hardships in long-term relationships and partnerships – which I have). I knew there could be a possibility of me not ever finding my true love in this lifetime, but here I am, writing all my crazy experiences in love and in life at an early age of 22, trying to make sure not a single mistake I’ve ever made was wasted. If I get to “inspire” people of my stories, they’d know what to do or avoid for themselves the next time around.

Honestly, it’s all about the mindset, the maturity, and well, “growth.” Although this thing sometimes causes me anxiety and depression, I still know how to make use of it the right way.

7. You learn to be happy alone

You find peace eating alone in restaurants or food chains that involve people staring at you with judging eyes. You no longer care about people thinking you’re lonely, or that you need somebody.

You find peace in your independence, and for you, it’s the happiest thing ever. Not because you don’t care about being judged anymore, but because you learn to not depend on anyone but yourself.

8. You keep humility intact

You no longer brag about your achievements on social media. You no longer try to compete with anyone who tries to rain on your parade. And you love yourself enough to celebrate even your worst enemies’ or the-people-that-hurt-you’s success.

You’re always humble about what you get and achieve in life. And instead of celebrating it for your “job well done,” you celebrate it by thanking the people who were a part of it.

9. You smile always

When you’re always smiling, you show everyone the strong person you are despite the struggles. When you’re always smiling, you make everyone, even people you meet on the street’s, days. When you always smile, you embrace positivity with big arms, and even if life keeps telling you to suffer otherwise, you always know how to pick yourself up by just smiling it all off.

Learning the art of emotional intelligence (EQ) is really a hard skill. It was something I had a hard time learning before. When you do so eventually, you’ll figure it has a lot of good impact on your life. Plus, it influences other people’s moods. You’ll somehow light people’s days just by showing a good mood.

10. You love people, even at their worst

When you love people at their worst, you understand their situation even when they hurt you. Sure, you’ll get mad at them for treating you so poorly along the way, but you’ll realize how it makes a difference if you just love and understand them on their situation.

Not all people have the capacity to be mature. I’m not saying I’m all mature enough – I still have my fair share of immaturity, but when you start to grow as a person, you heal. You take care of yourself more. And you’ll learn what’s essential to be happy.

God and the universe
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This Is How God And The Universe Taught Me Another Lesson, Because It Involved You Hurting Me

I never knew I would be capable of getting over someone faster than I was expecting all thanks to him. This was, in fact, another first.

He was a Leo. I was an Aries. The stars thought this was a good match, but all things had exceptions, and I think that’s where we both fell out.

We never dated. Because he chose to fool around… especially with me.

What we had was something I will never be proud of. We didn’t even meet right the way two people should meet on their first day of the meeting. We didn’t even establish what we were except for what setup we engaged in beforehand. I just loved him severely along the way, even if I knew I wasn’t meant to in the first place.

It started a year ago when I saw him at this party we’re all organizing in April. I was the new kid there, knowing no one but the host. I was sitting there, feeling out of place. Thank God there was this medical school intern guy and this thick, brown girl who saved me from boredom. It was a relief.

He was there. And I remember him wearing a black, long-sleeved shirt, denim pants, and white shoes; carrying a DJ controller on his right hand, and his left arm around a pretty, tall girl I can’t recall. I noticed him because he stood out from the rest. He looked handsome with a fair skin that glowed at night, kind of dashing, had the ‘swag’ factor in his charm and was speaking in good, modulated tone to that girl he was ‘talking’ to.

I didn’t bother at first. I just thought he looked good that night, and that I never have to see or even talk to him again…

…until that night I was invited to a birthday-slash-victory party with all the people who participated, hosted, and even organized to have a few shots, and was asked to sit beside him in front of the beers and homemade cocktails I told everyone I’m not drinking.

I don’t know what the main reason why he did this to me. We were just in the middle of being acquaintances and friends back then. 

I can still recall how we used to just talk every 2-3 months to know “what’s up” for a year. We only commented on each other’s posts and supported each other’s rants when we’re trying to be comical or dramatic. We would also always reminisce about the day we met at that party where he used to play EDM music for, in which I joked he ‘snubbed.’ And we’ve only seen each other again twice at Starbucks, one in which I photobombed in a picture he took with his friend in late Autumn.

I always knew I wasn’t his type. I knew he wouldn’t even second-guess about dealing with someone like me. I was completely okay with that. But he did make it happen with a simple, “I miss you” with a kiss emoji in late November.

“I miss you.”

“I miss you.”

I kept repeating that on my head before responding, “I miss you, too.” I mean, what’s there to miss? We don’t even hang out.

I went along with his games. I thought he was only being too, extra friendly because that’s how I observed him dealing with his “girl” friends online. It was only during early December when he did the same to me and at first, I didn’t mind.

I never saw this coming because of the mindset, “I’m not his type.” It was firmly stuck intact in my head all these times. All along, even though he was being too extra friendly, his ‘friendliness’ never did stand a chance on me. He started being sweet on comments, telling me to take care of myself and be safe until late December. It was fine then, but I’ve always thought… “Why with the emoticon, kiss?”

I just don’t understand why he had to change his mind. And why of all women more than willing to participate in his games more than I was, he chose me?

To be completely honest, though, I already saw the get-go coming. I just didn’t know it was going to be him… and that, he’d hurt me like that, either.

It was also in late December when, for the first time again in forever, my squad of five friends in college came to hangout complete two years after. We pigged out, got drunk, got drunk again, and went sober. Due to the drunkenness that made us both sober and wasted, we checked-in on an old, local, yet affordable lodge to stay in for the night.

That was also the night he chatted with me to talk. I was too busy hanging out with my friends to even reply to him with sensibility, that I left him unseen with my mobile data connection turned off.

I never really cared at first.

My friends and I arrived at around three in the morning with our wasted and sleepy faces on. We booked a dusty, old room with two beds on both sides, one on which a wall was painted yellow with animal characters on it… until I noticed something absurd.

The painting was a huge picture of a ram and a lion, sitting across the rocks and the lake.

It covered the entire walls of the room we booked, and I kept staring at it, questioning why the ram was with the lion instead of a bull. I’ve always had a crush on this Taurus guy back in Manila, and since his zodiac resembles like that of a bull and mine in ram, I found it a menace to see my animal sign with something else.

As per usual, however, I ignored it. I went on storytelling my craziest experiences with one of my best friends and slept through it afterward. But even before heading to bed, I kept wondering why there were a ram and a lion on that painting, not knowing it was the universe already speaking to me. At that time I didn’t know if it was a good sign or a warning. Perhaps, my psychic senses got drunk either and went to sleep with me.

It could have changed my life back then only if I was able to realize.

Fast forward to two to three days after, he randomly hit me up again and we went conversing about the most absurd stuff! I can’t believe we connected so deeply. I knew it was the first time I felt that.

We were talking about almost everything from the existence of mankind to the existence of aliens, politics, government, even memes. We were talking in a language that only both of us understood, that even if we spoke through GIFs and emojis, we’d still get to understand each other.

That was also the time when I knew he was born in late July… making him a Leo. 

And then it hit me. Something must be up!

I refuse (and am embarrassed) to even admit this, but I’ve always thought he was my soulmate. Maybe he wasn’t my “soul-soul” mate, but he was like someone I felt like I’ve known in my past life.

I never connected with anyone so deep like that ever since. I thought he was the one for what I felt (or so says my inner hopeless-romantic heart).

I never knew that was only… “that.” And I never knew it was for a reason.

We were almost talking about everything every day after establishing some “ground rules.” We even planned about traveling from out of town for three days and two nights and all that. However, despite all our deep connections, plans, and bullshit, I knew God, right there, interfered. I am a hundred percent sure He made a way for us to separate, and He made that happen first through DISTANCE… and then through COINCIDENCE.

I never planned on applying for another job (amidst the job I was already hired at but hasn’t started yet) here in my city. It was supposedly a job interview I’m scheduled to attend on another company, but since my best friend ditched me the last minute and it was too far away, I ended up ditching that interview either and went on to apply at this certain company where I got hired the same day.

After the onboard orientation, the job I really intended to work for has called me about my ‘start date’ moved from June 2018 to January 22.

Quick back story: I got hired at this company around September 2017. Since it wasn’t operational yet, I was asked to wait for a call for the start date. This was the reason why I applied for other jobs, and then this job I got hired on the spot.

At first, I was torn. I didn’t even know if I should pursue this seasonal job I’m only going to work for a month. But something encouraged me to still go because of a crush I met during the orientation (which is a different story). I also thought, “Why not attend this job first and when the real job finally calls for onboard (the latter company knows about this ‘real job’), I’d just go with it?”

I did as I thought. I never knew something should happen then, hence the extension of my stay in that city.

January 2018 was actually the year when the Mayon volcano was erupting for a week. The company (seasonal job) has decided to move out to its satellite site in Naga City. We worked for three more weeks there along with free meals, free accommodation, free shuttle service, and even had a laundry allowance. It was like, we just went three hours away from home to work where the only requirement needed was to bring ourselves!

I met awesome friends there. I even met a friend who I thought hated me for the first time. She kept embarrassing and bullying me sometimes, but in her defense, she was just like that with people she actually likes.

Fast forward, and the seasonal job was over, and I had to train a few miles away (Lipa City) from Naga City, then back at it again. I first trained for ‘the real job’ after the whole one month in the same city we moved out from in January. To cut the long story short, I stayed three hours far away from my city where he also resides a few kilometers away from January to April.

This is where I learned why God didn’t want us to be physically together!

He was such a lonely, broken man who desperately searches for love and acceptance. And when he doesn’t get that, he destroys whatever he can get his hands on, even a woman’s feelings. His weakness was his ego. And he was kind of manipulative and self-centered for that matter. Although he was really kind towards me the first time, I learned that it was fake thanks to this ‘bully friend’ I had from that seasonal job.

This is the COINCIDENCE I was talking about earlier.

Of all the people he has to meet on a dating app, trying to cheat and lie to me regardless of our usual rule number 2, it was REALLY THIS FRIEND he has to meet. And there, I learned what I had to learn eventually, allowing me to move on faster than I usually do before.

When I fell in love with him, he destroyed me by literally intending to hurt me using this friend I thought didn’t like me. For a moment there, I thought the universe was playing tricks on me because of all people… why her?

They planned on hurting me intentionally, making me jealous, and he even had a good laugh watching me cry my heart out for something I hadn’t seen coming. When this friend realized what was going on, she knew she had to step up. She told me everything, confessed, and came clean.

That’s when I realized how I was losing myself again slowly.

I missed taking care of myself. I missed going to the gym. I missed being energetic and hyper at work. I missed doing the things that I love. I missed hanging out with my true best friends. I missed my alone times. I missed laughing during pig-outs with my family. Most of all, I missed myself; the better person I became after I was severely damaged almost a year ago.

All of these, I lost, because I tried taking care of him. I loved him, gave him the things I thought he needed, even shouldered for him the baggage I thought he couldn’t carry anymore, even if I I knew I couldn’t carry those myself.

I did those voluntarily. I tried diverting all my attention to him. Most of all, because I learned how to love him even at his worst, darkest days, I realized how I wasn’t loving me anymore because I was allowing these to happen. 

But clearly, I know, it wasn’t him that I hated most for breaking my heart… it was me I hated for choosing it this way.

A piece of advice, folks.

Choosing a person to love will really affect you not just emotionally, but also mentally, physically, and spiritually. And when you choose the wrong person because of their idea, you give yourself directions on how to lose yourself.

When you choose a wrong person and absorb their energy trying to meet them halfway, you also absorb their toxicity, their vibe, their spirit, and their soul. And if we keep on choosing broken people trying and hoping we could at least lift them up when they (and we) knew we’re not the fix, we end up breaking ourselves.

Question is… what about us, now?

To be completely honest, he only wanted to be ‘friends with benefits’ with me. I don’t even know why I agreed, maybe even before he established the rules I already liked him. Thank God nothing severe happened due to my mandatory move out for work. I was saved 10x the trouble before I could actually realize.

You know, I got even depressed at first because I felt like I looked ugly after my sunburn from Calaguas Island. A friend took me with him there and tried to help me clear my mind instead of wallowing with sadness at home. Alongside, I was also battling over a major problem and stress at work. I didn’t know what to think first, really.

Nevertheless, I had the guts to improve myself instead than sulking over it.

Despite being torn about going jobless for a month or so to heal and staying at work to still appear “worthy,” I resigned to take care of myself and my mental health, I wrote a song and had two of them recorded, I bought online courses to improve my blog and my lifestyle business dream, I volunteered to organize a big event, and I even tried to learn new things like the DJ course I attended last August.

So far, aside from God, being amazing with all these coincidences and plans, I learned the greatest lesson here, and it’s always about really choosing yourself always. After I got broken, I knew I had to fix myself and keep going. I knew I had to improve myself and make better decisions the next time around.

And then, it hit me.

God did this!

While the universe aligned everything from the meetup to the fall down, God took care of me by piling up these events, while still making this lesson happen.

I was weak and stubborn enough to say, “no” to him when I knew I didn’t want to but didn’t know how to reject. Maybe God stitched these events so He could pull me away easier from him… maybe without me, noticing at first.

Everything, indeed, happens for a reason and I always believe that. Both God and the universe knew what type of person I was constructed and made. With a Moon in Leo and a Saturn in Pisces, God knew what he should do to avoid me getting all the damage AGAIN. The universe just thought it out by giving me heads-ups through its universal signs.

Perhaps, this is just how I think, but hey. What’s not to appreciate?

Life is beautiful, indeed. ???

To That Leo Guy,

I always knew you were a broken fuckboy who constantly search for love and acceptance. I just didn’t know you’d choose me instead among anyone else. I will never understand why you chose to do those things when I knew I just looked right through you. Nevertheless, I forgive you. 

We were meant to meet for a reason, and I was meant to love you for a lesson.

 

 

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This Is How You Love and Respect Yourself, As Told By Someone Who Had Lost And Found Herself The Hard Way

I have always confused “love” with “infatuation,” hence dating a bunch of guys. And although I had only loved two men for real half a decade, my reputation of being a ‘slut’ precedes me until today.

People, especially my best friends; let alone mom and dad, kept telling me to “love myself first” and to “respect myself.” I never knew what that bullshit meant before until I got my heart severely broken by a fuckboy who disrespected me in the cruelest way.

Before, when I was younger and naïve (like all of us were), I would always quickly jump into dating guys right after I knew them. And when I got my heart broken, I try to replace them with another man to ‘immediately’ ease the pain.

I was afraid of being alone back then, and the only thing I thought of doing to cease that hideous fact is to date. I also kept going back to exes who’ve hurt me over and over, just because they felt familiar… and “company.”

When the aforementioned fuckboy destroyed my reputation, verbally abused me, took away (some) of my money, and replaced me with another woman amidst the fall down three to four months ago, I realized a bunch of things that I haven’t in the past five years I’ve been dating. And when I did, I realized how much of a jerk I was to myself, leading me to finally understand what that “bullshit” from long ago really meant (loving and respecting yourself, as advised by my best friends and mom & dad).

What I’ve learned at this very moment of my life is that you can’t control what is or what will happen in your life, but you can always control how you can react along the process. Social media can’t help you brush those off. I mean, displaying a strong persona of a woman who ‘doesn’t easily succumb to her vulnerability’ doesn’t shrug that off. Because even if you keep posting how much of an ‘independent woman that doesn’t need a man’ you are but deep inside feels like a lonely little girl who needs loving, you’d be very much ‘full’ of all the words you’ve said (… or typed) when someone who makes you feel ‘loved’ comes along.

Loneliness is a bitch. It makes you do crazy things that destroy you. Let alone make you jump for impulsive bad decisions just so you could cope up with it. But let me tell you something: things are better off when you’re happy alone than lonely with someone else. And when you’re (already) happy alone, then you’re on the first step onto loving yourself more.

I honestly lost myself out there because of I felt lonely. As mentioned, I tried dating or going back to an ex just so I could cope up with it. But here’s the thing – when you lose yourself out there, your self-love and self-respect will start to slowly diminish. You’ll end up trying to find it from men to men, thinking their love is your way back. But it isn’t.

When you lose yourself out there, finding your way back is harder than the searching. You won’t even recognize you’ve already destroyed yourself in the first place, let alone along the process.

When you give everything of you without leaving some for yourself – or say, giving every piece of you to just anyone – you’re going to look for it elsewhere, most especially when you have nothing else to lose. Consider yourself buying a bag of bread from the last buck you own because you’re hungry, and when people who claim to be ‘hungry’ wanted some of it and thought you’d share, you ended up giving them the whole bag instead.  And because there’s no bread left for you and got hungry again then, you go along finding a piece of it from someone you think has one.

But the bread isn’t in them. It’s in you all along. You should have learned how to create bread first with the last buck you own before giving it all away.

In this metaphor, the bread is the act of “love.”  Finding, loving and completing yourself steps in when you know how to create one to suffice for yourself.  Since you’ll be needing a foundation of it, you will need to learn more about yourself.  And in the bread metaphor, investing the last buck you have into learning how to make one tells you that you should invest some time into knowing yourself deeply (before you can create one). Once you already know how to show that expertise, giving it away for free would never be a heartache.

When you find yourself and learn more about how to choose and empower you, you’d learn to give everything for the person you love, while making sure you have some for yourself. If he’s not the one? Then leave him be. Move on to the next. Same as when you know how to make bread, you wouldn’t mind giving it to the hungry people without losing one for yourself again. And when a person full of gluttony in his eyes asks you for one and wastes it? Well, at least you still know how to make one.

When I realized these things and compared them to my past relationships that kept repeating alongside my never-ending situation with different men, that’s when I knew what I lacked: self-love and self-respect. I didn’t know! I didn’t know where to start, or how was it done. All I knew for step one was I needed to invest my time for myself, learn how to be happy alone, and be really happy with the people that matter. I thought it was all about the how you should look, but actually, it’s all about how it should feel.

You know, redeeming yourself isn’t too late, though. You can always hit restart and start over with life. When you realize it’s time to walk away, and that you deserve better, you start loving yourself. And that’s what also constitutes self-respect – when you know how to love yourself now.

I’ve realized all of this when for the first time in forever, I haven’t gone dating other men to stitch my wounds and heal my broken heart. I realized I could be happy alone when I started hanging out more with my friends and family instead. Along the process, came the greatest price of all. And I’d never trade this one for anything in the world.

So here’s the thing: when you love someone, you don’t destroy them. You nurture them. At the same time, if you love yourself, you won’t destroy you or do anything that could potentially destroy you either. Do not ever go back to the person you don’t deserve, or settle for someone because loneliness keeps kicking in. Instead, do the things that make you happy. Nurture yourself. Pamper yourself. Put yourself first. Make yourself feel good. Choose you – always you. And stay the hell away from those losers who only want something out of you.

Self-respect comes in next. When you love yourself, you stay away from the things that are bad for you. In my case, I came to realize this when that fuckboy from four months ago tried to reconcile and be friends with me after all the disrespect and social media disses. I realized, “why should I be friends with someone who caused too much pain in the ass after using and destroying me?” You wouldn’t believe how good it felt when I finally said, “no.” I felt empowered. I felt like a badass, lady-boss. And in that moment, I felt what self-respect was after all those years.

I am telling you my story because I don’t want this experience and ‘once in a lifetime’ lesson to be put to waste. I have always learned things the hard way, especially this one, and this is the least I could do to contribute to mankind: write my lessons. And my dear, if you’re struggling enough to love and respect yourself (may it be because of anxiety and/or past experiences), don’t ever wait for a fuckboy to destroy you just so you’d ‘know’ what it is. This saying may be too overrated, but it is entirely true that you should know what you really do deserve and give yourself the same kind of love you give to others (hell, I believe you should be giving yourself more!). Remember, your mother didn’t struggle enough to push you out of her womb, gave you everything she has, and nurtured you to be the woman you are now, just to be destroyed by someone (err, a fuckboy for instance) who never gave many contributions to your life on the first place.

You deserve better. Always always always remember that.

Thank you to the ones who never gave up on me: BEST friends, family, and the people I never thought nor expected to stick around. You guys rule!

 

 

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Confessions of an ADHD-er: The Truth Behind The Brain Disorder

“Over-analyzing” sometimes ruins everything. Your thoughts aren’t coherent, you do random things according to your senses, you’re irritably overthinking things out of impulsivity, and even become moody about some things normal people don’t. What makes it even more depressing is that the thing itself gives everyone an impression of “it” being a mental incapacity. Truthfully, it isn’t. It’s one product of ADHD.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder or ADHD is a brain disorder marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development. It has three signs and symptoms that make up for it which are inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity.

I have ADHD and it was only in October 2015 when I found out and confirmed I was an ADHD-er. I can always remember how kids at my former hometown hate to play with me because I was super hyperactive, always intending to ‘destroy’ things I ‘thought’ should be destroyed, impulsively running to and fro; away from my nannies, even my dad (my father would always compare me to a remote-controlled doll that once put on the ground, would automatically run as fast as she could away from him).

This caused me having minimal to no friends in childhood, thinking nobody liked me because there was something ‘wrong’ with me.

It was just recently when I figured, it’s all about my brain disorder.

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Photo credits to Google

ADHD possesses three multi-factors that creates its overall functionality. Inattention, for one, means a person wanders off task, lacks persistence, has difficulty sustaining focus, and is disorganized. These problems are not due to defiance or lack of comprehension.

Several findings state that, if an ADHD-er appears irrationally happy-go-lucky, it most of the time makes his hyperactivity. This is when the person seems to move about constantly, including situations in which it is not appropriate when it is not appropriate. They also excessively fidgets, taps, or talks. In adults, it may be extreme restlessness or wearing others out with their activity. Another manifestation and proof that one has is his impulsivity.

Impulsivity is when a person makes hasty actions that occur at the moment without first thinking about them and that may have a high potential for harm, or a desire for immediate rewards or inability to delay gratification. An impulsive person may be socially intrusive and excessively interrupt others or make important decisions without considering the long-term consequences.

Regardless of the aforementioned facts I wrote here about having ADHD on the downside, the cons would always have its pros and its perks. For instance, having ADHD means your brain functions faster unlike the ordinary. When you feel so slow sometimes, that is because you are over-analyzing things based on the facts you know, and your brain is functioning too well that even a dumb joke would play as if it was meant to be analyzed. This happens all the time because you will always stay rational about the things around you.

Aside from having a Virgo rising, my ADHD makes me the person who analyzes a lot and has capitalized on it to help people with their massive essays, even debate speeches, and academic paper writing. I don’t know, but this also made me love reading and researching. Since I’m also passionate about writing, I leveraged this part of me that eventually turned out to be a so-called, ‘business‘ in college. ?

Insane, right? I know. ?

The undeniable power of ADHD also includes out-of-the-box thinking, humor, drive, and the passion that it brings to the ADHD-er. Moreover, people who have ADHD tend to have “hyperfocus” which means they focus very intently on things that do interest them, and at times, the focus is so strong that they become oblivious to the world around them.

There’s nothing inherently harmful about hyperfocus, so to speak. In fact, it can be an asset. Some ADHD-ers, for example, are able to channel their focus on something productive, such as a school or work-related activity. Others allow themselves to hyperfocus on something as a reward for completing a dull but important task. Ultimately, the best way to deal with hyperfocus is not to fight it but to harness it.

“If school or work can be made stimulating, it will grab focus in the same way,” says Kathleen Nadeau Ph.D., a psychologist in Silver Spring, Maryland and the author of ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life.

Personally, when I get too pumped about doing something I’m passionate about, I actually never cared about having less sleep, or no sleep at all. That’s when my ADHD comes striking me. It’s always making me extra hardworking, especially when I love doing what I do. However, if I’m less interested of what I’m doing, I end up procrastinating… because I have no interest in making them happen at all!

… except when I’m really obliged to.

Hey, this led me to do a few, awesome things in life at an early age of 18 and counting! I was able to do them thinking I never would in a thousand years. Not being a braggart or anything, I was just thinking about being passionate about my craft, excelling in it and, and slowly improving it. I was able to do that during my early teenage years and I’m still hung up on that up to this day! I just feel like it was a miracle. ?? You can read this on my Autobiography part of my blog here. The password is thehobbyistpost96.

People with ADHD, according to one account, tend to have many creative talents (usually underdeveloped until the diagnosis is made) and a highly original, out-of-the-box way of thinking. As highly intuitive people with a special “feel” for life, they can possess an almost “sixth sense” that lets them see straight to the heart of a matter instead of having to think it through methodically. Since impulsivity is one of the core symptoms of ADHD, it stands to reason that people with ADHD are more creative than their non-ADHD counterparts. And according to Nadeau,

“Many scientists, writers, and artists with ADHD have had very successful careers, in large part because of their ability to focus on what they’re doing for hours on end.”

So don’t be bothered or “alarmed” if you think you also possess the disorder. This is also the reason why you’re special.

This is why an ADHD-ers’ passion is located at the heart of their brains. The perks of this disorder are the “genius” behind where ADHD-ers’ masterpieces come from. Some people I know are not ashamed of it, so don’t you ever do either. Be happy about it.

This is not a spin control nor is it an effort to paint a rosy picture of the potentially disabling side of ADHD, though. Prisons, drug rehab centers, unemployment lines, divorce courts are full of people with undiagnosed, untreated ADHD. But there is also a “gifted” side to ADHD that packs the power to propel the child or adult who has it to success, even greatness. It’s all about tapping into the “mirror traits” of the negative symptoms associated with ADHD, which can become amazing assets.

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3 Things A Sentimental Girl Does When She’s In Love

Women are vulnerable. And by vulnerable, I mean they carry their fragility out by cherishing the people they love. When a girl cherishes someone in her life, she will always remember that person no matter how much you’ve done to her in the past. She will never compromise your memories because for her, you existed in her life, you made her happy, and you should not be forgotten. This makes them very sentimental of the things they receive from you. Isn’t it fascinating when someone remembers you for the simple things you did and made her feel?

sentimental

Photo credits to Google

Sentimental women do not just cherish and take good care of the moments you’ve shared together. They also value them, and treat them like a souvenir, as if it would be the last sunset they’d ever see in their waking lives – they cherish things more than you think. I have three things here of what a sentimental girl does when she’s in love:

1. She’ll work you into her passions

She can write you a song. She can write a 7-verse poetry about you. More so, she can write an article about you. Whatever it is she can do for you using her passion, she can definitely pour her heart out being you, as her muse.

The most sentimental women I know end up writing a song for the people they love (just as I do). While you give her the best memories in your relationship, you wouldn’t have any idea how much she can creatively translate your day into three to five minutes. She can write your love story in one sitting. And she can beautifully translate her emotions into a fine melody you also can jive with.

She will write a song for – and about you – because this will remind her that you and your memories together existed; that you and your love existed. She would want you to remember her existence; as a person, and as the girl who could love you more than anything in the world.

2. She can show you the world through her vision

And by that, I mean, she will open up her heart to you in her most vulnerable state, and speak up her mind in her most intellectual self.

When a sentimental woman is on the verge of her vulnerability, she will most likely tell you all the most amazing things in the world like how much she feels about you. She will tell you how beautiful your eyes are metaphorically, or describe your scent and appeal poetically.

She will speak up her mind about what she thinks about you and will tell you what’s on her mind to show you what it’s like in her world. She will bring you to her galaxy, and you wouldn’t consider yourself a speck of dust, because you’re her brightest star.

When you feel the intensity of her heartbeat, you wouldn’t need a stethoscope to know what she feels. You’d just know it deep within her eyes. And when you see the sincerity in her eyes, you wouldn’t have to consult an ophthalmologist to assure her 20/20 vision. You are her vision, and that’s what makes her world clearer and transparent. Just take the time to look.

3. She keeps a collection of your memories together

And will cherish it, even if you choose to leave in the end.

Whether if it’s the box of McDonald’s fries you bought for her at breakfast or that plastic wrapper of Hershey’s chocolate you gave her on Valentine’s Day, she will always pin it up on her bulletin board to remind herself of what you two did that very day. Sometimes, she’d add dates to every remembrance she collects because this will serve as something she can look back at in the future.

Everyone wants someone so pure, innocent and honest, and a sentimental girl is someone whom you should start with. You will love her for her purity because her vulnerability itself is what makes the whole package of her honesty and sincerity. You wouldn’t have to worry about infidelity, because this is what loyalty starts with: in honesty. Moreover, a vulnerable woman possesses the entirety of it.

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Finding Mr. Right: Why We Should Believe That Forever Do Exist And How The Right Person Is Determined

“We fall in love by chance, we stay in love by choice.” – Anonymous

We all love the idea of falling in love. Moreover, we always wanted to love and be loved by someone we consider our significant other. But, how can we determine if he/she’s the right one? Could it be by how we wanted them to be? Or, how we’d like to end up with what we presumed them to be?

Finding the right person isn’t as easy as pie. We would go and experience a lot of heartbreaks first before reaching the finish line.

However, how are you sure you’d reach the finish line with the right person? Could that be easily determined? Would it be a good decision? Well, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to waste another time trying to work things out with the wrong person (again), would you? How could that be even possible? What if you have just mistaken him to be the right person when he actually wasn’t?

We all have this so-called, “stereotyping mindset” wherein we categorize a person by how they should act or what they should possess before engaging in a more upgraded level with us i.e matrimony. Some women (and men in particular) like to settle down with men (or women) who have looks, money, car, etc., that are obviously ephemeral; something some women (and men) think “ARE” the ones worth considering for.

Are they really the ‘right one’ men and/or women should settle down with? Was that true love, even?

Obviously, it isn’t.

It’s not – NEVER – about the looks and the money, ladies and gentlemen. Love is not about necessity. It’s about how you love the feeling of every 37, 843, 200 heartbeats of your annual existence; responding to your hypothalamus that determines. It’s about the feelings that are hardly explainable from within that explains, and the butterflies that rave in your stomach that proves. When you love a person, you just LOVE them. No ‘BUT-s’, no questions, no explanations, no reasons, no ‘because-s’, no anything – You just love them; because you feel them… and you’re happy with them. It’s not just about the compatibility you have with your significant other that validates, but the chemistry in your comfortableness with each other as well.

Externalizing the quote, “…that’s the thing about pain. It demands to be felt…” (John Green. The Fault In Our Stars) otherwise, LOVE is the feeling that IS ALREADY FELT because it CEASES DEMAND (when you’re in love). You just have to assess the feelings, yourself. The more you find it hard to explain why you keep coming back to the same person over and over again is the time you realize how unexplainable and hard it is to find the right reasons to explain them. Love, per se, is subjective; not objective. It’s like a theory – conceptualized, yet ceases evidence.

How do we determine Mr. Right?

Personally speaking, finding Mr. Right is like finding an old coin you used to pay the ice cream man for a cone of ice cream and retrieving it back from the change of that dress you bought on a department store – you’ve already found them, but you weren’t able to see or notice them. Perhaps, you’ve seen them on the streets, but you were so eager to tie up your shoes because its lace got untied that a bus already passed by and blocked his way.

Fascinating, isn’t it?

Love is a wonderful feeling when you’re already at the right person’s arms. It happens when God’s plans and fate collide to have your ways cruised and have your paths crossed. It’s the thing we call, “SERENDIPITY” – You don’t plan them. It just happens. We love a person at the most unexpected way we’d anticipate them. We meet them at the most unexpected times. We disclose the event with what we call, ”DESTINY,” and that’s when the demand of love is felt.

How are we sure our significant other today is already the right one?

Simple.

You have to feel and assess your own feelings. You will know it’s the right person when you don’t just possess true love towards them, but contentment and comfortableness, as well. It’s when you can easily tell yourself, “Ah! He/She’s the one I want to be with someday” without hesitations and doubts of what could happen in the next years. It’s the feeling when you already fear nothing while embracing acceptance in any form of informality, and the feeling when you can clearly tell yourself that he/she’s the one not because they fulfill your needs, they have reached your standards, or they have the qualities you wished for in a partner, but because you love them, you’re comfortable with them, and you’re happy with them regardless of what both of you have encountered and surpassed in your previous years. Easier said than done, but if you assess yourself and your feelings, you’d get the picture of the emotion.

To be honest, I, still, am not in any stage of nearness towards my right man. I know someday we’d cross paths in the fiction I call my fairytale. Perhaps I have met him before he was too stubborn to take right. Whoever that person is, I’m sure I’d be lucky enough to experience serendipity one more time – this time, with the right person already. I’d be glad to tell the whole world how much of a fan I am of “destiny” for having us find each other one day. That would probably be the best ending I could offer the last chapters of my book. After all, serendipity doesn’t just happen in fairy tales, but in autobiographies as well.

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Carpe Diem: Why We Should Seize The Day And Make The Most Out Of It

  “We Do Not Remember Days, We Remember Moments.”  – Cesare Pavese

It is inevitable that time passes by. Whatever we do, or however we consume our 86, 400 seconds in the existing 24 hours of our day-to-day living, we cannot procrastinate time in connection to the quote, “Time is gold.” We cannot stop time, as it is you who have to adjust. Apparently, it is neither the seconds nor the hours that you must count. It’s the moments – the moments that make your 24 hours – your time – worth remembering.

lollllYou must be wondering how it is related to the photograph. Well, as to the photograph per se, having one means capturing the moment – capturing that mere event that could last until forever. After all, “we do not remember days, we remember moments.” It proves the validity of the photograph itself, as photographs symbolize souvenirs of our yesterdays. And what makes it more significant is it serves as a medium to reminisce the memories – the memories that could never be brought back in the event of the span of time.

Internally-wise, if you would seek deeper through the picture, you would notice the presence of the sunset in the background. Watched by these two friends from afar, it symbolizes the vulnerability of the moment, as it is the cessation of time. If you think deeper through it, you will realize it symbolizes the running time, as it serves as the night’s gate. Time is visible through the lapses. It is defined as ‘the call of the day’, in contrary to the sunrise’s literal definition, ‘the start of the day.’

Photographically aside, if we speak of the quote itself, the deeper description of what the quote implies to the readers is the value of the moment. It emphasizes its significance until it becomes a memory. Yes, you can have another 86, 400 seconds in the next day after today, but you can never bring the moments you had yesterday back if you disremember what you should have remembered today.

People who engage, or are satisfied with mediocre complaints suggest, “May bukas pa,” but how are we assured of the possibility and the probability that there is still tomorrow to comply with the undone? How are we sure of the “may-bukas-pa” excuses if we do not know what the future holds? Cesare Pavese only wants to teach us one thing: To enjoy the moment. Come what may! If you can enjoy today, enjoy it now. Seize the day. We never know how time would let us go as we do not hold its predictions and predestined fate. Yes, we do remember the days, but nothing can be compared to the moments, captured.